Story Two: "Ranma's Fiancees"
Chapter One
Akane was in a mixed mood.
She was walking on air, because she and her love had finally
broken down. They had poured out their hearts, discovering
things that they hadn't known about each other - or
themselves. It was more glorious than she had dreamt. All
her past fantasies of love and romance were pallid, weak
things compared to what she and Ranma had shared.
She was in mortal terror. Ranma had gone to speak with
Ranko. Ranko was closer to him ... literally a part of him.
True, she had arranged for the two to come together, in a
way. She was Akane's advocate to Ranma, even when Akane
herself had done so much to hurt him. But deep inside was
the barely-remembered voice of her mother, screaming at her,
telling her how ugly and stupid she was, how no one would
ever love her. And part of her listened.
Would Ranko turn against her, make Ranma chase her away?
Would Ranko take him away from her? Would her tears drive
Ranma into her non-existent arms?
Joy and fear warred inside her.
Ranma leapt through the window of the third story classroom,
startling Sensei Tanaka and the students.
Especially since the window wasn't open.
As the students shied away from the shower of broken glass,
Ranma bounced across the room, swept Akane out of her desk
and into his arms, and kissed her.
"SAOTOME!" Tanaka-sensei yelled. "WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE
DOING?!?"
"Celebrating!" he exclaimed, whirling the smiling Akane
around.
"Ranma-sama," Akane began, forgetting there were witnesses,
"What happened?"
"Oh, only one of the GREATEST THINGS IN MY LIFE!! The
perfect thing to follow up last night!" And he kissed her
full on the lips.
A loud thud resounded as the entire class facefaulted.
"What?" Akane asked, smiling now and embracing him back.
"(ahem) Are you two done, or is there going to be an
impromptu ecchi exhibition?" a familiar female voice asked.
Akane turned to the window and gasped. Those of her
classmates who had recovered from their facefault
facefaulted again.
The female Ranma stood in the shattered window, gazing upon
the male Ranma and Akane with an amused grin on her face.
Akane did NOT keep her composure. "H-h-h-h-h-?" she asked
intelligibly.
"How am I walking around?" Ranko replied. "Beats the hell
out of us. I was giving Ranma-kun my blessing for the two of
you, and I just ... walked through the mirror ... and here I
am," She hopped down to the floor, hands on hips. "Big as
life and twice as pretty."
Ranma hugged Akane tight. "Isn't it GREAT?!?"
Akane just stared dumbly. "Yeah ... great ..."
While through her head, a dream she had a few nights ago
went through her mind; Ranko stepping out of the mirror and
stealing Ranma away, leaving Akane behind while they headed
into the sunset, hand-in-hand...
(NO!!) Akane shoved that out of her mind. Ranma was *hers*
now! Last night proved that! She had seen his heart, and he
had given it to *her*!
Ranko hugged the pair of them. "My best brother and my best
girlfriend ... and I get to be with you BOTH!"
<'Brother?!?> Ranma thought. (Sounds good. It's even true
... in a weird way.)
<'Brother'??> Akane thought. (Brother!! Not friend not
boyfriend - BROTHER!! As in 'someone you don't marry'!)
Akane returned the hug, happy.
The class, meanwhile, was wondering what the hell happened.
* * * * * * * * * *
Nabiki waited out front of the school for her sister and
Ranma. Nearby was Kuno, who had missed his morning thrashing
(because Ranma and Akane had left early), and was there to
make up for it with an even more vigorous afternoon
thrashing.
"At last I shall have my day! Today I shall wreak the
vengeance of heaven upon the vile sorcerer Saotome! You
shall witness History, Nabiki Tendo, for Titans shall clash
and -"
"Yeah, yeah," Nabiki muttered, tuning out the rest of Kuno's
monologue (Pompous factor 8.8). She was still dwelling on
what had happened last night.
For that matter, what exactly *had* happened last night??
Akane came out of Ranma's room that morning, still wrapped
in the sheet, and they were both smiling. The obvious
thought that crossed her mind was immediately squashed;
Ranma was too much of a Boy Scout to do *that* with Akane -
pre-maritally, anyhow. And they had raced ahead of her to
school, *holding hands*!
But Ranma didn't love Akane. He loved Ranko. Akane would get
hurt by loving Ranma.
Everyone had always seen Nabiki the Ice Queen, the Hard
Bitch of Furnikan High. But she had another, deeper side.
All Nabiki cared about was her family. Money and power were
the means to an end; keeping her family secure.
She'd seen her sister collapse emotionally, and knew why. If
Ranma broke Akane's heart again, she'd send him through all
Seven Rings of Hell.
"Hey, Oneechan!" Akane called out happily. Nabiki turned to
see Akane with Ranma, their arms around each other's
waists...
And Ranma's other arm around Ranko.
(Eep! Not that damned mirror again!> After the mirror-clones
had been returned to their cursed mirror, Nabiki arranged to
have the mirror stolen, then mailed by express service to the
depths of the Antarctic wastelands, thus insuring it would
never be seen by humans again.
But this one was different. She didn't walk with the
exaggerated hip-rolls of the mirror-slut, and unlike the mirror-girl's exaggerated almost-brainless kawaii-ness, this girl's face had a calm intelligence, an impish humor...
(Oh god, she's out!!)
But Akane was smiling?
"SAOTOME!!" Kuno shouted. "How dare you flaunt your perverse
control of these helpless maidens before the world! Thou
shalt know the invincible wrath of ... THE BLUE THUNDER OF
FURNIKAN HIGH!!" As his bokotu stabbed upwards, lightning
crashed, thunder pealed.
"How does he *do* that?" Ranma asked.
"Dunno," Ranko answered. "Neat trick, though."
"'Helpless'?!?" Akane snarled.
Ranma looked to either side of him, to the two most
important girls in his life, and sighed. "I'm not really in
a Kuno mood today. You want him, Ko-chan?"
"Hey!" Akane said sharply. "Why can't *I* beat on him?"
Ranma kissed her on the forehead.
"Okay!" she replied, smiling. "Ko-chan, go get him," And she
squeezed Ranma close.
"Hmph!" Ranko said with a smirk. "'Go beat on the moron so
we can snuggle, Ko-chan'. All that lovey-dovey stuff ...
sickening, it is," Her face betrayed her amusement and
pleasure at Ranma and Akane's affection.
A crowd had gathered to watch the Ceremonial Pounding of the Kuno, but had been treated to a real spectacle as well. Akane and Ranma being loving and romantic (with various betting pools paying off); Girl-Type Ranma and Boy-Type Ranma as separate people (no betting pools on that one, unfortunately); and Nabiki not making a profit off of it!
As Ranko stepped up to the idiot Kuno, she felt a thrill.
When she and Ranma had shared, she almost *never* got to
fight, because Ranma's idiotic chivalry got in the way. Now,
she got to pummel someone all by herself! (Granted, it was
only Kuno, but you must crawl before you walk.)
"Baka-Sempai," she greeted him, without a bow, or even a
nod.
(In classical Japanese culture, the person of the lesser
social caste must execute a lower bow than the high-caste
person. It is said that the Imperial Family has special
training to teach them to bow without actually moving. Thus,
refusing to bow at all could be considered a deliberate
insult, implying the person before you has no status.)
Kuno gave an exaggerated sigh. "Alas, poor Pig-Tailed Girl,
how the foul fiend Saotome has used his evil magic to
control you, compelling you to perform such unladylike acts
-"
(WHAP!!)
"Mrph," said Kuno around the foot in his face.
"FIRST! I am NOT your 'Pig-Tailed Girl', you freak! I have a
name! Ranko Saotome, daughter of Genma Saotome, *sister* of
Ranma Saotome! *GOT IT*?"
"But-" he began.
(THWAK!)
"Uuh," Kuno said from the ground where Ranko's piledriver
put him.
"SECOND! My *brother* is *not* an evil sorcerer! Akane loves
him of her own free will! *UNDERSTAND*?!"
"I-" Kuno began again.
(PUNT!!)
"Third -" she said as he sailed into the sky, "you've got
*great* hang-time, Kuno-baby."
Akane and Ranma held up cards reading 9.9 (Akane) and 7.5
(Ranma).
Ranko looked hurt. "Hey!"
"A bit wordy," he explained, "and you should have had him in
one second, not eight."
"She deserved extra credit for style," Akane argued.
Nabiki looked at Ranko. "H-h-h-h-h-?"
"How am I walking around?" Ranko finished, smiling. "I'm
beginning to see the family resemblance. As I told Akane - I
have no idea. It just happened."
"And to celebrate, I'm taking my two best girls out on the
town!" Ranma said, his good mood touching everyone around.
He started walking with Akane toward the Tendo home, Nabiki
and Ranko trailing.
"Uh, Ranma?" asked Nabiki, "Are you sure that's wise? I
mean, Akane isn't quite healthy yet -"
"Nonsense!" Akane argued, hoping to forget about her little
... episode. "I'm fine!"
"And what about the Fiancees?" Nabiki countered, "They find
out about you two getting all smoochy-smoochy and they'll go
nuts! Not that it's a long trip for most of them..."
"She's right about that," Ranko said, nodding. "We're just
lucky that Ucchan hasn't been in school lately."
Ranma sobered up. "You're right. We've gotta do something
about this. It's gone on too long."
"Finally he shows backbone," Nabiki said.
"Watch it, 'Biki," Ranko replied. "It's not his fault,
y'know. Ucchan - and the others - were Genma's doing.
Kodachi was just an accident. And Shampoo was - sorta my
fault."
"Huh?" the Tendo girls asked.
Ranma shook his head. "Not really, Ko-chan. We were just out
of Jusenkyo. How were you supposed to know that I don't
fight girls?"
"Because I have your memories, you dip! From a girl's point
of view, but still -"
Akane looked at Ranko, eyes wide. "YOU fought Shampoo?!"
"If I didn't, they were going to eat Genma!" she protested.
"What's your point?" Nabiki asked.
"Given the whole Amazon village the runs, most likely."
Ranma muttered.
Akane elbowed him - gently.
"Don't change the subject!" Ranko protested. "The point is,
the Fiancee Mess isn't Ranma's fault! It didn't happen
*because* of him, it happened *to* him!"
"Then why didn't he clear it up before now?" Nabiki kept
arguing, hoping to pin something on Ranma.
"Yes, Ranma-kun," Akane asked in a warm, cold voice, "why
didn't you?"
Ranma stammered.
"Because he has the social skills of a brain-damaged dung-
beetle!" Ranko protested.
"Yeah! That's it!" he agreed. Then, "HEY!"
"Quiet, you. I'm defending you," Ranko continued. "Genma
didn't teach him politeness, he taught him how to be macho
and arrogant! Every time Genma thought he was being too
nice, The Lecture began."
Ranko whipped a handkerchief and glasses from nowhere.
"'What are you, boy, some kind of sissy?'" she continued in
a credible parody of Genma. "'A *real* man stands up for
himself! Stop being such a pansy! Hmph!'"
The others couldn't help laughing at Ranko's performance.
"Okay, you got a point," Nabiki agreed, chortling despite
herself. "Genma is not a great etiquette teacher."
"But now, we can all work on it, you and me and Akane-
oneechan," Ranko said, slipping her arm into Ranma's,
noticing that Akane drew Ranma tighter to herself. "The
three of us can figure this out, then we can start on that
'happily-ever-after' thing."
"Ha!" Nabiki commented cynically. "It'll blow up. It always
does."
"C'mon, Nabiki! Ranma protested. "Akane and I are together -
Ranko's free - no Curse - what could possibly go wrong?"
In accordance with Murphy's Principle of Universal
Perversity, a light drizzle began. Akane found herself with
an arm around Ranko - er, Ranma-onna, who was arm-in-arm
with Ranma - uh, Ranko-kun.
The Saotomes looked down at themselves, then at each other,
then up to the cloudy skies.
As one, they voiced this thought to the heavens -
"THIS IS YOUR IDEA OF A JOKE, ISN'T IT??"
* * * * * * * * * *
Chapter Two
Tofu was expecting some business at the clinic today (it had
been a couple of weeks since the Wedding Fiasco, as everyone
was calling it, and all the usual suspects were well-
rested). He even expected Ranma and Akane, who had barely
moderated their violence.
What he didn't expect was Ranma-Onna and Akane coming in,
with their arms around each other, apparently happy. In
fact, to his ki-based perceptions, they were glowing a deep
gold, resonating with love.
And he *certainly* never expected to see the male version of
Ranma behind them, smiling at the twosome. The male Ranma,
however, had the unmistakable ki-patterns of a woman.
And behind them, Nabiki Tendo, her face as calm as ever, but
her aura swirling with clouds of doubt and uncertainty.
(Doctor Tofu didn't used to check the ki-patterns of
everyone who came in his door, but somewhere between the
third shape-shifter and second demonic possession, prudence
overcame modesty.)
"Hi, Doc!" Ranma-Onna said in the usual irreverent manner.
"Mind if we borrow some hot water?"
"No, Ranma-kun," Tofu answered, holding out a thermos, "I
always keep some at hand for our ... more exotic patients."
The male-looking Ranma took the offered thermos and poured
it on himself - er, herself, collapsing into a perfect
duplicate of the girl Akane was embracing.
The other Ranma-Onna took the thermos and duplicated the
action, becoming a tall, muscular black-haired boy again.
"You're a lifesaver, Tofu-sensei," the girl-Ranma said, in a
polite and feminine manner. "Unless you have some umbrellas,
may we wait here until the drizzle lets up?"
"Of course, miss-?"
"Oh," she said, blushing. "Pardon my familiarity. I know you
quite well, although we've never actually spoken. I am Ranko
Saotome, formerly the female soul within Ranma Saotome, now
his sister."
"Fascinating..," Tofu said. "You were a component of Ranma-
kun?"
"Not exactly. I became independent and self-aware just after
he was cursed at Jusenkyo, but it took awhile for-"
"Uh, Ko-chan?" Ranma asked his sister, "do ya think you
oughtta just blab about our private lives to everyone in the
street?"
Ranko thunked him in the forehead with her finger. "Hollow
sound. I thought as much, after spending all of my life in
there. Pay attention, Saotome," she began, "we don't know
what happened, do we? Suddenly we were independent beings,
after sharing one body for so long. Why did this happen? Was
it made to happen? Can it be duplicated with the other
Jusenkyo-cursed people? If someone made it happen, who and
why?
"We need answers, and Tofu-sensei is the best-qualified
person to help us find them. And he's a doctor, so we don't
have to worry about him blabbing about a patient's
condition."
Ranma looked confused. "Oh," he replied.
Ranko sighed. "Akane-chan, I've tried to teach him how to
think for most of my life. I hereby hand the task over to
you," She turned to the doctor. "I would like to consult
with you concerning this matter - if you don't mind."
"Not at all," Tofu agreed, smiling even more. "The Jusenkyo
curse is always a fascinating study. This new problem
promises to be just as interesting."
She nodded, walking into a private room with the doctor.
Akane and Ranma looked out the window at the rain, smiling
and holding each other.
Nabiki brooded, and thought dark thoughts.
* * * * * * * * * *
Ryoga meditated, directing his ki into his body,
accelerating his healing processes. The giant bruise was
almost cleared up, two weeks healing done in a day. The
cracked bones would be totally repaired within another day.
(Of course, Doctor Tofu's knowledge of exotic ki-
manipulation lores, including acupuncture and moxibustion,
aided the process.)
Soon, he would be able to go to Akane and explain everything. He could see it in his mind's eye now...
(RYOGA: Akane-san, this is all Ranma's fault!)
(AKANE: Ranma NO BAKA!!)
(Akane mallets Ranma, then Ryoga smashes Ranma with his
umbrella.)
(AKANE: Oh Ryoga-kun! How could I have ever doubted you? I
love you!)
(Ryoga and Akane kiss over Ranma's carcass.)
(Of course, he still had a few more details to figure out.)
(But what of Akari?) a nasty little voice whispered in the
back of his head.
(Akari? Akari loves me,) he thought. (Her pig fixation is
really annoying - a bit sick, in fact - but she does love
me.)
"Akari, Akane ... how do I choose? I must have them *both*!"
he cried out loud.
Ryoga made a mental note: Stop hanging around Kuno.
In the waiting room, the words Ryoga just shouted hung in
the air. Ranma felt Akane stiffen up, then she turned away
and marched resolutely toward the patient rooms.
"Akane, wait!" Ranma called after her. "You can't pummel a
guy in his hospital bed!"
"Sure I can. Watch me."
"AKANE!" he cried. "PLEASE!!"
She stopped. She turned around.
"Ranma-sama, after all he's done to us, how can you be so
... forgiving?"
Ramna shrugged. "Dunno. Just me, I guess."
"*Buta-hentai* wouldn't have forgiven *you*!" she said, her
voice dripping with contempt for the Lost Boy.
"I know," he said.
Akane hugged him. "You even forgave me," she said quietly.
"Nothing to forgive," he answered, his arms wrapping around
her.
Ryoga listened to the exchange outside his door. <'Buta-
hentai'? Is that all I am to her now? A perverted pig?> He
felt his heart shatter yet again. (How did this happen? How
did everything go so wrong?)
And all of Ryoga's thinking led him back to one inescapable
conclusion ...
This was all Ranma's fault.
* * * * * * * * * *
After filling Tofu-sensei in on the details of her and
Ranma's 'relationship' (leaving out certain embarrassing
parts), Ranko went to rejoin her twin and his fiancee. They
were still embracing, as if afraid to let each other go.
Ranko gazed her at Ranma and Akane, smiling with pride and
love for them. It was a long road for her, trying to
convince Ranma that he needed to let himself be loved. But
all was well, even though they *both* had the Curse now.
Doctor Tofu came right behind her, viewing the scene of
Ranma and Akane with a wistful smile.
"It was about time," he said to Ranko. "Sometimes, I really
did worry about those kids."
She nodded, adding, "I know the feeling, Tofu-sensei."
Nabiki had been pretending to ignore the happy couple,
letting them have an illusion of privacy. However, she
watched them closely, worried for her sister. And about
Ranma and ... *her*.
Ranko felt Nabiki's turmoil. Nabiki was questioning *her*
motives now. (Understandable), Ranko thought to herself.
(The only time we were in the same room she heard Ranma and
I proclaiming our love.)
But after everything that happened, she can only see the
Tendo girls as her sisters, and even Ranma was more of a
brother to her now. Granted, she wouldn't mind having a
round or two between the sheets with him, but it wasn't
necessary. She shrugged, knowing problems were going to
increase simply because of her existence.
(Time to defuse some land mines,) she thought.
She went over to Nabiki. "Um, Nabiki? Can I speak to you
privately?"
"Sure," Nabiki said, her Suspicion-meter redlining. (What
was this demon or whatever up to?)
Ranko led Nabiki to a nearby examining room. She pulled her
red locks out of the pigtail and ran her fingers through her
hair, letting it fall over her shoulders, softly waving from
the braid.
(Look at that), Nabiki thought to herself. (Undeniably
female. Pulling her hair out of that damn pigtail, walking
decently, gentle movements. I wonder what I can make off of
Kuno for pics of this?)
"Nabiki?" Ranko asked.
"Yes?"
"Would you mind if I borrowed some of your clothes until I
can get my own? Ranma doesn't dress comfortably for a girl,"
she smiled wanely, looking down at the red Chinese shirt and
blue pants.
"Why my clothes?" Nabiki asked.
Ranko leaned over, whispering, "Because I have a better
chance of fitting into your clothes than Akane's. Recall the
time Happosai stretched out one of Akane's bras because he
insisted on Ranma wearing it?"
"Ah, got ya'," she nodded, smiling at the memory.
"Besides, you know how to dress like a woman, and I can't
stand dressing unisex anymore!"
Nabiki went into professional consultant mode, looking over
Ranko for the first time. (Identical to Ranma's female form.
The stuff I got for his planned modeling shoot would do
nicely...)
"I have some dresses, but you'll probably have to borrow one
of Kasumi's bras."
Ranko nodded; while Nabiki wasn't lightly endowed, she just
wasn't in Ranko's class.
"Say ... Ko-chan? Do you mind if I call you that?"
Ranko smiled. "Of course not, Nabiki."
"Have you ever considered modelling?"
"Have you ever considered a fair split of your earnings from
those cocktail napkins?"
Nabiki spluttered.
"Only fair, since I was the one who finally talked him into
not killing you," Ranko added, combing her fingers through
her hair.
Nabiki gathered her bearings and replied, "But it was Ranma
that did the actual posing."
"Nonetheless, neither of us have seen one yen off it
ourselves. Perhaps we can strike a deal between ourselves
without him knowing."
She regarded the redhead silently, then stated, "We'll work
something out."
* * * * * * * * * *
It was a quiet evening at the Tendo residence when the four
arrived home. Genma was in Panda form and reading the
newspaper in the dining room while Soun was attempting to
locate a missing section of the paper in front of the giant
panda. They didn't quite notice when the teenagers arrived.
"We have to tell our fathers," Ranma whispered to Akane.
The two went to the dojo to practice. Ranma noticed the
practice dummies that once held his likeness now were
wearing yellow tunics and animal print bandanas. He
distracted her from using them and to a mock match with him.
"I know. I'm nervous," she replied, feinting a punch to his
gut. He tapped her left arm in the process.
"Me, too. After what ya did to the Old Man last night..."
Akane winced, remembering she threatened to kill her future
father-in-law, and then threw him out the window.
"Well, he asked for it," she landed a blow to Ranma's chest,
and he stepped back.
"Um, Akane-sama, your battle aura."
"Oops," she breathed deeply, closing her eyes to quiet the
heat and cool her emotions down. "Gomen."
Ranma nodded, smiling. Akane looked up at him and threw her
arms around him, kissing him deeply, passionately, massaging
her lips to his.
"Mmm..," they breathed, seperating.
They gazing into the other's eyes for a moment, gathering
the strength to face the Old Coots. Then they laced their
fingers together and left the dojo.
* * * * * * * * * *
"Biki," Ranko called her. "Are you sure this dress is right?"
"Of course it is!" Nabiki placed her hands on the redhead's
shoulders behind her. "It shows off your figure quite well,
actually."
The two girls were in Nabiki's room, standing in front of
her full-length mirror. Ranko was dressed in a long, tight
Chinese dress with two thigh-high slits up each side. The
dress was a lavender color, making her red hair stand out
more intensely. A golden rose crest lay on the bodice,
accenting her bust even more.
"It's quite pretty," Ranko acknowledged, giggling. "Kuno
would drool over this one."
"Or have a nosebleed," Nabiki grinned. She was actually
having fun with Ranko, now that she didn't have to deal with
Ranma's brash manner. She still had her suspicions, but she
followed a wise saying, 'Hold your friends close and your
enemies even closer.'
"Come on, time to introduce you to the family."
Ranko stood in front of the mirror, fussing with her hair.
Nabiki sighed and grabbed her wrist.
"You are such a girl."
"I certainly hope so!"
* * * * * * * * * *
Ranma and Akane entered the newly remodeled kitchen first,
where the oldest Tendo sister was happily humming to herself
as she prepared dinner.
"Kasumi?" Akane asked. "Have you any tea ready?"
She smiled sweetly, and pointed with her stirring spoon
toward the tea service already laid out on a tray.
"How *does* she do that?" Ranma wondered.
"It's... Kasumi," Akane shrugged.
They entered the dining room where their fathers were both
reading the paper, Ranma carrying the tray. Genma looked
over his paper and growled a little at his son carrying a
tea tray, but went back to reading.
"Father?" Akane addressed him, settling beside her fiance.
"Hmm? What is it, Akane?" he didn't even bother to look up
from the paper.
"We have something to tell you."
Soun looked up. His daughter and future son-in-law seated
side by side, looking nervously at him.
Tears began to stream down his face.
"No!" he cried. "You're both calling the engagement off!"
"No-" Ranma began.
"The paper isn't being delivered any more!"
"No-" Akane started to say.
"You got one of those crazy girls pregnant!"
"No!" Ranma shouted.
"You've killed someone!"
"Not-" Akane sighed.
His face grew huge, tear arcs streaming on either side of
him. Genma merely used his paper as a sheild, keeping his
fur from getting wet.
"Akane is pregnant out of marriage! I'm going to be a
grandfather before my time!"
"Damnit, Tendo-" Ranma began, getting up, tired of being cut
off by the hysterical man.
"Hey, everyone!" Nabiki called into the dining room. "What
do you think?"
They all looked up to see Nabiki standing next to a shyly
smiling Onna-Ranma.
"Koban wa, Tendo-san," she greeted Soun, bowing gently.
Soun's eyes bugged out.
He stared at the red-headed vision before him.
Then, with a mighty 'kiai', he pulled a butterfly net out of
nowhere and swooped it over Ranko's head.
"It's that crazy bimbo! She escaped the mirror! Get a bag!
Get a priest! I'll hold her!"
(WHAM!!!)
"Ugh," Soun commented from underneath the mallet that Akane
had slammed over his head.
Ranko looked at him in complete puzzlement as she pulled the
net from her head. "Why is your father-? Ohhhhhhhhhh..."
"That was what I first thought when I saw you, Ko-chan,"
Nabiki nodded. "No one is going to forget *that* Onna-Ranma
too soon."
Ranma was banging his head against the table, and Akane was
trying to revive her father.
Genma held up a sign. [Quiet, you! I'm trying to read my
newspaper!] He glanced up and noticed Ranko standing nearby
while Ranma pounded his head into the table.
The sign spun around. [Would someone tell me what is going
on?]
"No," Ranko said.
Nabiki held out a hand. "Fifteen thousand."
Kasumi entered the room, carrying the first course of
dinner, and stated, "Oh, my!"
Ranko bowed down. "Hello, Kasumi-chan."
"KO-CHAN!!" Kasumi cried, gracefully putting down the tray
while embracing the red-head.
* * * * * * * * * *
Chapter Three
Ranko hugged Kasumi back, glad to see her friend. They
looked up to see those that hadn't gone nuts before had
facefaulted.
Nabiki was the first to gain back her vocal faculties.
"Okay, how long has *this* been going on?"
"Whenever Ranma was in female form, I always tried to find
time to talk to Kasumi," Ranko explained, still hugging her.
"She's always the best person to talk to when there's a
problem."
"Of course," Kasumi giggled. "I'm so happy you found your
way out. You'll have to tell me all about it during dinner."
"Yes," Soun murmured, regaining consciousness. "Tell
everyone what is going on..."
"Everything I can, Tendo-san," she smiled at her family,
delighted to be truly with them at last, despite their ...
eccentricities.
"Well," Kasumi stated, letting go of Ranko. "Dinner is
served. Oh, my. Ranma, why are you banging your head into
the table?"
"Lemme get this straight," Ranma said, pausing from
pummeling himself on the table. "You told Kasumi?"
"Yes."
"And she's known for - how long?"
Ranko looked embarassed. "Actually, Kasumi and I were
talking about a month before you and I were."
"AND YOU DIDN'T TELL ME?!?"
Ranko looked nonplussed. "Why?"
Ranma opened his mouth - then went back to pounding his head
on the table.
"Ranma!" Akane said sharply. "Cut that out! I don't want my
fiance to get brain damage!"
"SHE ADMITTED IT!" Soun cried out in joy. "At last! Now they
can get married!"
Images went through Genma's mind of Akaner clad in a sheet,
threatening his death and hurling him from a window. He
tried to silence his friend, to no avail.
"We can't afford a fancy wedding - still have the bills from
the last one - but we can get a minister over and have the
wedding tonight-"
Akane and Ranma looked at each other, nodded, and proceeded
to inflict grievous bodily harm upon the Tendo patriarch.
"YOW!" Soun commented. "OUCH! ITE! OWIE! THAT ISN"T SUPPOSED
TO BEND! YAAAHH!! NO NOT *THERE*! MOMMY!"
"Now," Ranma said to the Pretzel-Formerly-Known-As-Soun,
"Here's the deal; Akane and I *are* in love, and we *will*
probably get married. In *OUR* good time, not *YOURS*!"
"Ranma and I are still in high school!" Akane agreed. "We
still have college to go through! We're too young!"
"Genma!" Soun cried. "How about some help here?!?"
"I wouldn't," Ranma and Akane said simultaneously.
Genma started playing with his beach ball, signs all around
him saying 'I'm just a cute panda!'
Ranko smiled as her father cringed, leaving his friend to
his fate.
"Now that that's settled," Kasumi said brightly, "perhaps we
can have supper now?"
* * * * * * * * * *
Dinner was only a notch above high treason, as the Tendos
and Saotomes found out that Ranko had as much an appetite as
Ranma had.
(More than Ranma,) Akane decided, watching the twins fight
over the large bowl of veggie ramen, pulling the other's
hair and kicking the other in the sides. Yet, the Saotome
siblings were laughing as they did, trying to see who can
finish the bowl first.
Genma (back in human form) gazed at them disapprovingly,
wondering how he acquired a missing daughter (the
explanation that Nabiki offered went over his head. Even if
it had smacked him *in* the head, he still wouldn't have
understood). He snatched what he could off of their plates,
which usually resulted in either Ranma or Ranko booting him
in the head.
Nabiki watched with amusement, thoroughly convinced that
Ranko was a Saotome through and through. No one else can eat
like that.
"Hey, Ko-chan," Nabiki giggled. "You remind me of a famous
anime redhead with a huge appetite. Now, what's her name?"
"Which one?" Ranko asked, devouring an entire rice roll in
one gulp.
"Point taken."
Meanwhile, a small figure spun stealthily through the Tendo
garden.
He had felt the shift in ki energy, amazed at the power it
held. He had to find out who could possess so much of what
he needed.
More importantly, he had to find out what sort of panties
she wore.
At last, Happosai, perverted master of the Anything Goes
Martial Arts, spied what he sought. A redhead seated with
her back to the garden, wearing a dress that begged to be
felt!
(Come along, my kawaiikochan,) he sang. (Stand up and let me
see you!)
"Okay, okay!" Ranma was saying. "You win, Ko-chan. You are
the master of Martial Arts Food-Snatching."
"Thank-you, Ranma-kun," she bowed her head. "Kasumi, that
was excellent."
"Arigato, Ko-Chan. Perhaps you can help me with dinner
sometime?"
"Of course. Let me help you gather dishes."
Ranko got up and gathered the plates nearest her.
"YES!"
Then she immediately felt something glomp onto her rear.
"Oh, no!" she moaned. "I forgot about him!"
"SWEETO!" Happosai hugged her. "What a charge!"
An uproar came from the table, Ranma's voice above the din
screaming, "LET GO OF KO-CHAN, YOU HENTAI FREAK!"
Ranko felt her energy drain from her, even as she tried to
shove the leech off her back end, her strength quickly
dropping low.
"Ranma..."
(WHAP!)
(SPLASH!)
Happosai found himself in the koi pond. He leapt up above
the water and landed back in the room.
Ranko had collapsed into Ranma and Akane's arms.
"Ko-Chan!!" Ranma cried. Ranko was out cold.
Akane looked down at the redhead and noticed something odd,
a rash spreading all over her body.
"Ranma, look!"
Ranma looked down at his twin, and he looked up, going
towards Happosai.
"What did you do to her, you freak?!"
The old master lit his pipe, his hand skaking like he just
drank five gallons of six-shot espresso, and looked
plaintively at the young man.
"Nothing out of the ordinary," he commented. "So, I see your
female half is out. Explains why the ki energy is pure
female, and incredibly powerful. Haven't had a charge like
*that* before, ever. Could be addictive."
Nabiki looked down at the unconscious Ranko.
"Happy with yourself? You completely drained her and made
her break out in a rash!"
"But nobody ever fainted before!" Akane said. "The little
fart's glomped me dozens of times, and I've never reacted
like this!"
"She's too female," Happosai said. "Almost no male
principle. Instead of getting a trickle of mixed energy, I
got a rush of the pure stuff!" He grinned. "Call me when she
recovers."
Ranma moved to slam his foot on top of the pervert, but
Happosai had already scurried off, planning his next panty
raid.
"Hmph," Genma said at last. "Born male, and you wouldn't
have had this problem."
"Stuff it, Old Man," Ranma told his father.
Kasumi remained quiet, gathering the dishes as Ranma and
Akane took Ranko upstairs.
(Of course, her pure female ki is going to be a problem with
Happosai around, since she was essentially Ranma's anima.)
Kasumi thought. (Now that she is out, Ranma's female ki has
dwindled down to a trickle, and Ranko is nothing but female,
with only a trickle of male, even if they are both Cursed.
Poor Ko-chan.)
* * * * * * * * * *
"Well, Genma, what do you think of having a daughter?" Soun
asked as soon as Nabiki left the room.
"What daughter?" Saotome replied gruffly. "He turns into a
male, that means I have another son to turn into a man.
Ranma will becoming a sissy with being in love. Ran- Ran-
Ranko is my only hope to appease Nodoka for producing a son
who is a man among men."
Soun shook his head. "But she has accepted Ranma as a man,
even with his Curse."
"Nonetheless, he has become weak. He must *remain* a man!"
Soun shook his head, absently wondering if his experience of
raising daughters was ever going to be called upon with the
Saotome daughter. (He hoped not. She still gave him the
heebie-jeebies.)
"Get your mind off your wife's katana, Saotome! What of the
*Plan*?!? They want to wait to get married! If they're over
the legal age, they'll find out *why* we were pushing them
together, and everything will be ruined!" Soun remembered
the treatment he endured at his daughter and son-in-law's
hands. "And can you imagine what they'll do to us?!"
"Not a problem, Tendo," Genma said. "I have a plan."
Despite all common-sense, Soun nodded, listening.
"My wife's katana may be the solution to this mess! We
simply convince *Nodoka* to persuade them to marry! All I
have to do is complain about how my unmanly son isn't
getting married, and she'll practically chase them to the
altar!"
Soun looked troubled. "Isn't that risky? After all, Nodoka
is ... unpredictable."
"You mean she's a lunatic. But that will work to my favor
for once!"
Just outside the door, Nabiki listened impassively.(Idiots.
Forgetting that out-of-sight isn't out-of-hearing.) she
thought. (This is the first I've heard about anything like
*this* - although I've suspected something was up.)
(Now ... to go snoop through daddy's things.)
* * * * * * * * * *
Chapter Four
Doctor Tofu nodded as he concluded his examination. "I'd
have to agree with Happosai's assessment, Ranko-chan.
"Normally, Happosai couldn't drain more than a trickle from
a woman due to the male principle which is a part of even
the most feminine women. This is why he goes out of his way
to enrage and infuriate them, - to cause them to radiate
even more ki-energy in their battle auras and absorb even
more force. And even then, he still has to drain residual
energies from undergarments and other intimate things which
have been in prolonged contact.
"But due to the unusual circumstances surrounding your
birth, you have only the tiniest trickle of male principle.
There is almost *nothing* to stop Happosai's draining. What
is an annoyance and a humiliation to most females is
dangerous, even potentially deadly to you."
Ranko nodded as she slipped back into her dress. "So Kasumi-
chan told me. And what of Ranma-kun?"
"I've examined him only in the most cursory fashion, but
even that brief look appears to indicate that the exact
opposite effect has taken place. His female energies are
negligible, and male energies are quite abundant. In theory,
the two of you should be comatose, or even dead, due to the
imbalance."
"Perhaps our Jusenkyo transformations act as a balance?" she
surmised.
Tofu shook his head. "I really can't say at this point,
Ranko-chan. But I would like to keep daily progress of the
two of you."
"No problem - with me, anyway. Doctors make Niichan nervous.
Perhaps Akane-chan can talk him into it."
"Oh?" said Tofu-sensei curiously. "I understood that you and
Ranma-kun were quite close."
"Oh yes, very," she said. "But we had little choice. We were
the only game in town for each other. Now I want a little
breathing space, and Ranma wants time to feel out his
relationship with Akane."
Tofu smiled. "And how serious are they?"
Ranko giggled prettily, her face lighting up. "Not as much
as Akane-chan wants, that's for damn sure!"
* * * * * * * * * *
Ranma and Akane sat on the porch, gazing into the night sky.
The lights of the city reflected off the solid cloud cover,
showing the swift motions of the vapors ... precursors of
the typhoon that the weather service's latest forecast had
warned would hit tomorrow.
The young lovers sat close, their bodies fitting together
perfectly, arms about each other's waists.
Akane sighed in contentment. (Oh gods, why did I wait so
long for this? I was so afraid ... but I can't be afraid
now. He's with me, he *wants* to be with me. I'm not alone.)
Ranma nuzzled her head, smelling her hair. (Oyaji is an
idiot. 'Love weakens a man' he says. Ha! I ain't goin' back
to the way things were. I'm not alone anymore, and I'll
break anyone who tries to change that.)
"Suki da," he whispered.
"Ai shiteru," she whispered back.
She giggled and snuggled closer. He fidgeted nervously.
Akane knew why, from the way he moved his legs to hide the
evidence. She *liked* making him react like that.
"Why didn't we do this sooner?" Akane asked.
"Because if I tried it, you'd have called me a pervert and
malleted me," Ranma said.
Akane seemed to shrivel in his grasp.
Ranma immediately wrapped his arms around her and squeezed
tight. "I'm sorry Akane-sama I didn't mean it I wasn't
thinking I'm sorry -" he babbled.
"N-no, Ranma-sama," she said, her voice thick with emotion.
"You're right. That's what I would have done. I treated you
- Oh to hell with it, I was a monster!"
"Akane-sama!" Ranma said sharply. "I ain't the easiest guy
in the world to get along with. I'm rude and I talk before I
think and I usually say something stupid when I *do* think.
I would have provoked almost anyone! I started a lot of our
fights. I - I just wish I could just - *Not* say the wrong
thing sometimes."
Akane just whimpered and held him, her face buried in his
chest, her tears dampening his shirt.
Even Ranma could tell she hadn't fully recovered from her
breakdown yet. But he wasn't a doctor or a priest; he was
just her fiance. All he could do was what he was doing; hold
her tight, and try to hold the world at bay.
"Ai shiteru," he whispered.
"Ai shiteru," she whispered back.
Nabiki walked away from the door, still unseen by the pair
on the porch. Ranma seemed to be caring for Akane - and they
were closer than she had ever seen them. But how much of it
was real? Once things settled down, would Ranma and Ranko
traipse off into the sunset together, leaving Akane in even
worse shape than she was last night?
Perhaps if she broke them up - no, that wasn't an option. If
Akane had a nervous breakdown because she thought she had
lost him, what would the stress of an actual breakup do to
her? Best not to find out.
"Moshi-moshi!"
"YEEK!!" Nabiki yelped, jumping up. She turned and glared at
Tofu-sensei and Ranko, giggling behind her. "Was that really
necessary?!?" she snarled.
"'Laughter is the best medicine,'" Ranko quoted.
"And the cardiovascular benefits can't be overemphasized."
Tofu agreed.
"Since you two are doing comedy routines, we can assume that
Ranko is all right?" Nabiki asked.
"Of course," he confirmed. "Happosai's drain affected mainly
her aura, with only a small amount of her core life-force
affected. But do everything you can to keep him from
touching her again. It could be hazardous, even deadly."
(Useful to know ... just in case,) "Okay, Doctor, we'll try
to keep her from playing pattycake with the Old Pervert."
"Well, since all is well, I'll be leaving now," Tofu said.
"And try to keep Akane relaxed? She's still very fragile
right now."
"Of course," Nabiki said. "Oh, and Kasumi's in the kitchen,
if you want to ... say goodbye," She winked.
"Um ... no, I'll just go on my way. Give my regards to the
rest of the family."
Ranko and Nabiki watched Tofu's hasty departure. "Gee, you'd
think he doesn't want to be around Kasumi," Ranko observed.
"Maybe -" Nabiki began.
"GIRLS! RANMA!" Soun called out. "Come here!"
Grumbling, everyone assembled in the dining room. Ranma and
Akane still had their arms around each other's waists.
(Soun wanted to drag them off to get married right then, but
his survival instinct squashed that idea.)
"We have to prepare for the typhoon," Soun announced when
everyone had been assembled. The teenagers all nodded,
settling down around the dining room table where Kasumi was
pouring tea. "We have to board up the windows and seal up
the fences."
"We also need supplies," Kasumi added. "I made out a list of
the things we need."
"Good job, Kasumi-chan," Ranko commented. "'Best be prepared
than in despair'."
"Who said that?" Nabiki asked.
Ranko grinned. "I said that, Biki. Over here."
She smiled at Ranko. "Smartass," she whispered. Turning to
her older sister, Nabiki said "I'll go get the supplies."
"Arigato, Nabiki," Kasumi said, handing the list to her.
"All the same to you, guys," Ranma yawned. "But all this
stuff that's happened today made me exhausted."
"Me, too," Akane agreed, feeling an inexplicable twitch deep
in her. Images of Ranma in his boxers flickered through her
mind (as well as a vivid image of the night they met, him
stepping out of the furo...).
"Well, boys," Genma stood. "We'll have to make up a pallet
for your new brother in our room, Ranma."
"Boys?" Nabiki echoed, puzzled.
"Brother?" Kasumi repeated, even more puzzled.
Akane tensed, afraid of what Genma-baka had said.
"Come along, you pansies," Saotome indicated Ranma and
Ranko. "You're both acting too much like girls."
Ranko jumped up, standing at his shoulder level, but still
staring him eyeball to eyeball.
"I AM a girl, Oyaji!"
"Just another son to train. Ranma is a failure, he's no
longer a man!"
"WHAT?!?" Ranma and Akane said.
"He's no longer a macho wiseass if that's what you mean!"
Ranko sniffed.
Nabiki watched with a bemused grin, wondering why Ranma
never had enough backbone to tell his idiot father off.
"Wait a minute!" Akane interrupted. "They're going to sleep
in the same room?!" Other images, of Ranma and Ranko twisted
together in contorted and ecchi ways, came into sharp focus.
Nabiki shook her head. (Little Sister's Green-Eyed Monster
reawakens. Let the mallets fly on the girl's red head.)
"We are Saotome men," Genma stated matter-of-factly. "We
allow nothing to weaken us!"
"I'm a GIRL, you stupid panda! And I'm *NOT* weak!"
Ranko took her father by the front of his gi and threw him
over her shoulder toward the koi pond.
(SPLASH!)
"Did ya' have to do that to him, Ko-chan?" Ranma asked.
Akane looked at the athletic redhead, her chest heaving from
her anger, and hugged Ranma's waist tighter. (MINE, MINE,
MINE! Not yours! MINE!)
Ranko turned, smoothing her skirt, sighing in disgust.
"He *is* as stupid as I thought. Can't tell what a woman is,
even when he sees one. No wonder Nodoka let him go. Too bad
you had to go with him, Ranma-kun."
Genma-panda leapt out of the water, wielding a giant sign at
her. [Miserable brat!] it said.
Ranma giggled, letting his sister and father duke it out as
he turned to kiss Akane's forehead.
"What's wrong?" he whispered.
"Does she have to sleep in the same room as you?" his
fiancee whispered back.
"She's family -"
"Ranma!" she said as she bit his ear.
"Ow," he rubbed it. "What's the problem?"
"I ... don't think it's appropriate."
"What?" he paused. "Oh, you think ..."
"Well ... " Akane blushed. "I- I- didn't ..."
"A little jealous of my sister?" he chuckled, nuzzling her.
She took a deep breath and whispered, "Yes."
He nodded, blushing. He hadn't thought about the sleeping
arrangements. He briefly wondered if he *would* take
advantage ... then shoved the thought away.
(But would Ranko?) another voice questioned.
He shoved that thought away, too. It was too early to tell,
and he didn't want to ruin what he had with Akane by little
nasty thoughts from his glands.
Akane had just ... awakened so much in him. His whole body
needed to be close to hers, in every way. Yet, he promised
himself, he told Ko-chan that he was saving himself. He
never realized how difficult it was going to be.
He leaned over to Kasumi who was finishing her tea.
"Kasumi, would you mind if Ko-chan bunked with you?"
She lowered her cup, smiling.
"Of course, not, Ranma-kun, I'd love to have her. I know
your father is being ridiculous by thinking she is another
son," she smiled sadly at him, now convinced more than ever
of what Ranko had speculated several weeks ago about Genma
being brain-damaged. "I'll make up a bed for her right now,
in fact."
"Arigato, Kasumi," he grinned. "Well, Akane-sama?"
Akane relaxed and kissed his cheek. "Thank-you, Ranma-sama."
Nabiki tapped her fingers to the table and mused to herself.
(As if that'll stop any hanky-panky. Have to keep an eye on
both to make sure. I wonder if I can get any pictures for
certain interested parties?)
"Hey, you two," she addressed the redhead and the panda
still beating each other. "Stop that, we've got to worry
about the typhoon coming tomorrow."
* * * * * * * * * * *
(The next day)
The skies over Nerima grew dark the next morning. The
weather reports stated that the winds had reached over
twenty-five meters per second in the typhoon, nearly seven
hundred kilometers southeast of Tokyo Bay. The surrounding
areas were evacuated, including Nerima, as the storm
approached. Those that didn't evacuate had stayed to board
up property and ride out the typhoon in their homes and
businesses.
Cologne stood outside the Nekohanten, sniffing the stiff
wind. Something was definitely not right with the feng shui
around Nerima lately. A powerful new warrior was present. It
probably had to do with her 'son-in-law' - most things did
around here, she'd noted.
He hasn't turned up seeking vengeance for that little stunt
Shampoo pulled at that wedding, either. One good thing.
"Ne!" Cologne heard the voice of her great-granddaughter
from inside the cafe. "Shampoo not like typhoon coming! Why
here where Shampoo get cursed? Why not Airen live inland,
perhaps near desert?"
"Perhaps, Great-Granddaughter, this may be a blessing."
"What do you mean?" Shampoo asked.
"Perhaps we can ... talk to Muko-dono, away from
distractions, and ... convince him to return with us."
"Groom-raid?" Shampoo asked happily.
"I don't hold with these new-fangled ways, Great-
Granddaughter! The practice of stealing men is a ridiculous
fad!"
"It the way things done now, Hiba-chan! Shampoo never wanted
old-fashioned marriage anyway."
Cologne's head snapped around. (Oh crap,) thought Shampoo,
(I've pushed the old bat's button. Time for Standard Lecture
14A - Amazon Marriage Customs.)
"Our Amazon marriage customs have kept our people strong for
three thousand years! Since the days of Queen Gabrielle and
Xena the Great, our people have mated the strong to the
strong, creating bloodlines of unparalelled strength! We
have mated the skilled to the strong, with the result that
the mightiest warriors on Earth practice the greatest
martial art on Earth!"
(Blah-blah-blah,) Shampoo thought as Cologne kept lecturing.
(How can someone with such small lungs keep blabbing so
much?)
"However," Cologne finally said, winding down, "We have been
here nearly a year, and the son-in-law is no nearer to
returning now than he was when we arrived. Guile, honor,
temptation, coercion, all have failed. Even the less-
scrupulous tactics you have used - those mushrooms were a
lousy idea, child -"
"Must you tell Shampoo that every day?" she huffed.
"It was. And it failed. The stunt you and the Kuonji girl
pulled at the Saotome wedding was a pathetic act of
desperation."
Shampoo glanced down, looking sheepish.
(Withered old bitch,) she thought.
"Now we've nothing left but desperate acts. So, we will ..."
she paused, disgusted, "... stage a groom-raid."
"Yippee!" Shampoo cried, hopping up and down.
"We can use the storm as cover for the ... raid."
Shampoo paused. "Shampoo can't go out in rain! Neko-type
Shampoo can't carry Airen!"
"I have a supply of Jusenkyo waterproof soap," Cologne
replied. "In the torrent of a typhoon, it will be washed off
in a few minutes, but it should last long enough to do the
job."
"Oh Hiba-chan so clever!" Shampoo gushed. (Where'd the
little rodent hide it? I thought I went through all her
magic stuff trying to cure this damned curse!)
Cologne nodded. "We should make our plans before Mister
Part-Time returns from securing those supplies. Mousse might
not approve of our actions," The wizened old woman chuckled
evilly.
* * * * * * * * * *
Meanwhile, at Ucchan's, Ukyo was busy using leftover
okonomiyaki as boards over the windows of her restaurant
(after spraying on the varnish, of course). While she and
Konatsu went through the repetitive motions, Ukyo
contemplated her fiance, Ranma, and her love life.
She hadn't seen her Ranchan for days. She hoped that he
would be understanding about that little ....
misunderstanding a couple of weeks ago. She just wanted to
save him from marrying against his will.
She was worried about him, wondering if in the past two
weeks, that gorilla Akane had cornered him into agreeing to
marry her.
Ukyo's battle aura grew at the thought. *She* was Ranma-
kun's *first* fiancee, not that tomboy wannabe. She had
first dibs with the agreement between her father and Genma
Saotome. And Ranma had called *her* cute! He was hers! By
right!
She took the spatula in her hands and started whacking at
the okonomiyaki to stick to the window.
"Ukyo-sama?" Konatsu asked. "Are you well?"
"Uh, yeah, Konatsu-san. I'm fine," she lied. "Just
remembering .... somethinmg I need to get soon."
"Well, with this weather, you should go get it now," he
said.
(CLICK!!)
Weather ... yes! She could get her Ranchan tonight! Under
cover of the typhoon, she could save Ranma! And once away
from the never-to-be-sufficiently-condemned panda and that
brute Akane, his true feelings could finally come to the
surface!
She dashed upstairs to get her good battle-spatula.
* * * * * * * * * *
Over at the Tendo household, Ranma and a fully recovered
Ranko were securing the outside of the house and dojo by
themselves. Kasumi and Akane conveniently found housework to
do, Nabiki was getting supplies at the store, and the Old
Coots were too busy playing shogi to bother with such
strenuous work.
"Lazy bastards!" Ranma commented.
"Now-now, Niichan," Ranko chided. "Perhaps Oyaji has a
legitimate reason for bowing out. We *did* give him a good
drubbing this morning. Being pounded by both of us would be
enough to hospitalize anyone."
[I let you win!] Genma-panda's sign said as it flew through
the air toward Ranko's head. Ranko and Ranma nonchalantly
ducked, allowing the sign to implant itself in the garden
wall.
"Your aim's getting worse, Oyaji!" she giggled.
Ranma laughed, adding, "Old age getting to ya', huh?"
Akane stood at the window, watching them. Everything battled
within her. Bittersweet joy and desire and fear and
jealously and ... How could she be jealous of the girl who
brought them together, calling him brother and her sister?
(Because they aren't really siblings. They love each other.
She *would* take him, given the chance.)
And that was what she most feared.
Nabiki entered the kitchen, carrying bags of what supplies
she could haggle, being that everyone who stayed had raided
the stores. She had to make several deals, but she got the
necessities, which really mattered.
(Pretty good for working on only a couple of hours sleep,)
she said to herself. She had stayed up almost all night try
to catch Ranma and/or Ranko trying something, and all she
found was *Akane* trying to sneak into *Ranma's* room! Three
times! Who'd have thought Akane had it in her?
Nabiki noticed the lovestruck girl in question staring out
the window, an odd expression on her face.
(If that bastard Saotome has hurt Akane again ... !!) She
deposited the bags on the counter and joined her sister at
the window, watching the Saotomes fix the gates, making them
water-tight to prevent flooding in the yard.
(How to go about this?) she thought.
"They seem to be enjoying themselves," Nabiki commented
casually.
"Yeah," Akane replied shortly, not looking at her.
"A lot has changed since we found that attic."
She nodded. "Ranma and I finally admitted everything."
"So why do you still have that jealous streak?" Nabiki
leaned against the sill, studying her little sister's face.
Akane glanced at her, then turned back to see Ranko giving
Ranma a noogie with him in a choke-hold, both laughing.
"What makes you think I'm still jealous?"
"Because if looks could kill, Ko-chan would be cremated and
in the Saotome shrine already."
Akane looked down at the dust cloth in her hand, breathing
deeply.
"It shows, doesn't it?"
"Yeah. You have doubts, too, huh?"
Akane bit back the tears. Did she *doubt* Ranma's love? The
image from her dream, of them running away together, came
back strong, as did the image of them in depraved acts of
lust.
"No!! I - I don't know."
Nabiki bit her lip. "Listen, I want to make sure he's real.
I don't want him screwing you over. I'm going to keep a
constant eye on them - "
Akane looked up at her, the tears filling her eyes. "He
loves me, Nabiki, he loves me!"
"I hope he does, Akane. I'm going to make sure."
"Mama said that no one would ever want me because I'm stupid
and ugly and - "
Nabiki immediately reached out and held her baby sister in a
hug, feeling her body heave with tears.
"It was wrong. She was wrong," Nabiki cooed gently. "Kasumi
was Mama's favorite, she had planned for Kasumi. We were ...
surprises, and Daddy was the only one who really wanted us."
"But I *sob* became what *hiccup* she said," Akane sobbed.
"I'll never be *sniff* a lady or beautiful. I don't want
Ranma to love me because he feels sorry for me."
Nabiki remained quiet, holding her tightly. (By the Gods,
I'm going to find out once and for all.)
* * * * * * * * * *
yoga Hibiki pulled the tape from his ribs, feeling them.
Everything had healed properly. The bruise was now a pale
yellow. Although his head still hurt a bit, but a few more
days will fix it.
He let his anger stew the past day. Akane was no longer his
- Saotome had taken her away from him. Ranma had told her
that he was P-chan, and had made her angry enough to mallet
him (the connection that he broke her trust by never telling
her was beside the point). Ranma was going to pay.
Oh, yes, Saotome was going to pay dearly - with his life!
Ryoga swung his legs out of the hospital bed and pulled his
clothes on. A typhoon was coming. If he got to the Tendo
Dojo before it started raining, he could explain everything
to Akane and they could both reduce Ranma to the consistency
of apple butter.
(He'd gotten better recently. Nowadays, it only took him
between one and two days to find a destination in a half-
kilometer. The Tendo Dojo was only two hundred meters away
in a straight line, and he was familiar with the area - he
could probably find it in a couple of hours.)
He exited his room and found Doctor Tofu in the hall, going
over a clipboard. He stood still, hiding around a corner,
and watched Tofu place the clipboard down and walk off to
another patient's room.
The boy stole up to the counter, and curiosity got the
better of him - he looked at the clipboard. Among the notes
he had written down were "Ranko Saotome - possible diploid
twin of Ranma Saotome, 'female half' of his Jusenkyo Curse.
(Medical curiosity: would she be able to carry a child with
her Curse??)"
(Twin? Nani?!) Then, in a Ryoga-esque leap of logic(?), he
noted "'female half' of his Jusenkyo Curse", and leapt to a
conclusion.
(Ranma's cured! He got rid of his curse! And he didn't share
it with *me*!! I'll kill him for that!)
Ryoga clutched his umbrella, and made a run out of the
clinic.
* * * * * * * * * *
Happosai was semi-recovered from his drain of ... that
delicious redhead with the unlimited female ki.
"Manna from heaven, as the gaijin say ... " he chuckled to
himself, still feeling the sweetness running through his
veins. "Too nice. I must have more of my kawaiikochan
tonight."
He got up from the hill he sat on, where he watched the
clouds speed over the ocean. He took one last look at the
increasing waves, and bounced down the hill.
(If she were all mine, I'd have no use in glomping other
women,) he mused to himself. (Unlimited ki, all I need! In a
good lookin' girl to boot! Wheee!)
Thunder roared ominously in the distance as the pervert made
a run toward the Tendo Dojo.
* * * * * * * * * *
Chapter Five
A light rain began to fall over Nerima, the afternoon light
had darkened to dusk. Nerima lay in stillness, the
collective breath of its inhabitants that had stayed were
held in expectancy. They had seen their share of typhoons
through the centuries, and they respected the power of the
Gods of Sea, Rain, and Wind.
Nabiki crept up, making sure they couldn't see her, watching
as Ranko dragged a somewhat-reluctant Ranma behind her.
"C'mon, silly!" Ranko chided her twin while pulling on his
hand. "I've wanted to do this for the longest time, and you
won't stop me now!"
"Shouldn't we ask Akane about this?" he said. "She *does*
have a say in this, y'know."
"We'll do it later! Right now, I want *Action*!"
(Yow!!) Nabiki thought. (And I thought Shampoo was forward!)
She dashed off to get her little sister, who was putting
away groceries.
"Akane!" Nabiki said breathlessly. "C'mon! Hurry!" Grabbing
her sister's wrist, she pulled Akane along.
"What happening?!" she asked, annoyed.
"The mirror-tramp's making her move!" Nabiki replied.
Akane gasped. "She wouldn't! ... Yes she would! Where?!"
Nabiki led her to the screen leading to the den, now shut,
where Ranko had dragged Ranma.
Akane stepped up beside her, motioning toward the room.
Nabiki nodded, holding up two fingers and pointing to the
screen. Akane swallowed the lump in her throat.
(Ranma wouldn't leave me, not now he wouldn't,) Akane
babbled in her mind. (I won't let him. It'd be Ranko's fault
if he left me, she took him away. He told her he wouldn't -
even though she was willing. Now that she's out, she'd have
a better chance. I can't let that happen.)
Nabiki moved away from her little sister, seeing the pained
battle aura flick on, a faint shadow around her. Someone was
going to Get It, and she wasn't sure if it was going to be
Ranma or Ranko, or even both.
Their murmurs got louder, and they clearly heard Ranma say,
"Hey, get offa me!"
"Nuh-uh, Ranma-kun," Ranko replied, giggling. "I've got you
pinned!"
Akane's ears perked up. Was Ranko trying to ... ?
"Not so rough, little girl!" Ranma stated.
"What's wrong? I thought you liked it rough," she giggled.
"Ya' didn't give me a chance!"
Akane reached out, grabbing a mallet, and held it high over
her head. Nabiki fumbled for the edge of the screen door,
her heart racing in the manifestation of her fears. She was
shocked that it would lead to this.
"Is it *my* problem you can't get on top?" Ranko chuckled.
"Okay, okay. Stop hurting me, I'm new to this."
"SHI-NE, CHINSHA!" Akane shrieked.
Nabiki pulled the screen back to find ...
Ranma and Ranko seated in front of the television set,
controllers in their hands, and playing Akane's Tekken game.
From the looks of the screen, Ranko was winning.
Both turned, seeing Akane in full Mallet Battle Mode and
Nabiki with her jaw detached in disbelief.
"Akane-chan," Ranko asked. "Is there a problem?"
"I *knew* we should have asked her if we could play it
first!" Ranma said.
Akane's own jaw dropped, seeing that her fiance was not
being used for the depraved pleasures of his twin. The
mallet fell from her hands and landed on Nabiki's head.
"OW!" her older sister, moaned, rubbing her bruised head.
"Akane-sama?" Ranma ventured, getting up. "Are you all
right? Do you need to lie down?"
"I- I- I thought that ... "
"What?"
Akane wrapped her arms around Ranma and turned on the
waterworks, tear arcs spilling from her eyes. The
resemblance to Soun was uncanny.
"WAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!! I didn't want to doubt yooouuuu, Ranma-
sama! It sounded like- like you and her- "
Ranko started giggling, falling back on the pillows and
laughing hysterically.
"She thinks we were- BWA-HA-HA! *Who* has the dirty mind
*now*?"
Akane reached over and clocked her.
"Owie!" Ranko rubbed her head. "Okay, I deserved that one.
Gomen nasai."
"Akane-sama, you thought we were - that Ko-chan and I - ?"
he blushed.
She nodded, laying her head against his chest. "Nabiki said
... " Then she turned to her sister, who was edging away
from the doorway. "*Nabiki* said!"
Nabiki didn't expect this. She thought her sister would
react the same way she always did; think it was Ranma's
fault and mallet him, and even after finding out that there
wasn't really any hanky-panky, she'd mallet him anyway for
making her think that. Any way you looked at it, Akane would
be mad at him, and things would be back to something approximating normal.
But the battle aura, directed towards *her* for the first
time, was terrifying. She saw Akane's eyes light up with
anger-fire, and The Mysterious Mallet of Doom reappeared in
her hands.
"NABIKI NO BAKA!!"
"Aw, kuso," Nabiki whimpered and began to run, with Akane
chasing her, Ranma and Ranko following to keep her from
killing her sister.
"YOU MADE ME THINK THAT HE DIDN'T LOVE AND WANT ME! YOU'RE
WRONG! MAMA WAS WRONG! HE *WANTS* ME! HE *LOVES* ME!"
"I-don't-wanna-die-I-don't-wanna-die-I-don't-wanna-die!"
Nabiki chanted, racing through the house.
"Akane-sama, please!"
"Oneechan, don't!"
Kasumi held up the oil lamp as the teenagers ran around her,
in chase.
"ONEECHAN!! HELP!! DON'T LET HER KILL MEEEEE!!"
"HOLD STILL SO I CAN BEAT YOU!!"
"Oh, my," she stated. "Such rowdiness."
Ranko and Ranma reached out together, each snagging a
running girl. Then they bounded away to opposite ends of the
house.
* * * * * * * * * *
Ranko hauled off the frazzled Nabiki upstairs to her room,
resting her in her desk chair.
"Th-th-that is *scary*!" Nabiki finally blurted.
Ranko nodded. "Now you know how Ranma and I feel about it -
and why he was so afraid of telling her."
Nabiki held her head in her hands, mumbling, "I blew that
one sky-high, eh? My baby sister, about to kill me for a
stupid conjecture on my part."
Ranko settled on Nabiki's desk, her knees drawn up to her
chin.
"You still have a lot of doubts on where Niichan and I stand
with each other, hm?"
"I shouldn't, right?" she chuckled. "I've always wanted
Akane to be in love with someone who loved *her*. That's why
I goaded Kuno into making that stupid proclamation about
defeating her in order to date her - to scare away anyone
who might hurt her, who wasn't serious about her.
Nabiki looked ashamed. "You know what I did at the wedding -
don't you?"
"I had my suspicions," Ranko replied. "All those loons
showing at once was just a bit too ... convenient."
"I knew that our fathers were bullying them both into it, so
I - stopped it. It wasn't enough that they were in love. I
realized a long time ago that Akane *is* in love with Ranma,
but I also wanted *him* to be in love with *her*. I care
about my baby sister."
"You two turned out quite differently from Kasumi. Is that
why you always looked after Akane in that respect?"
Nabiki shrugged. "Mama ... never planned for either of us.
She just wanted one child, and Kasumi happened to have been
born first. Daddy adored all of us, but Mama's real
affections were always for Kasumi. She ... put up with us,
even loved us a little ... but we never were 'hers'."
Ranko nodded, reaching out to brush her new sister's hair
from her eyes.
"You wanted to make sure Ranma-kun loved Akane, totally and
fully, before you were going to let her go."
"She's very emotional, Ko-chan," Nabiki stated, smiling
crookedly. "When she falls, she falls hard. And I don't want
her in a loveless marriage where her husband is pining for
some other woman."
"So, you still believe I intend to bed him, hm?"
Nabiki's expression remained neutral, yet the blush crept
over her face.
"It *sounded* like you were doing more than 'bedding' in
there."
Ranko broke into a giggle, her face letting the slightest
blush cross it.
"You needn't worry. I wanted to play Akane's video game
since she got it, and Ranma was too shy to ask her if we
could use it, so I dragged him in to play it anyway."
"Oh," Nabiki giggled. "If I had recorded you two, *you*
would have thought the same thing."
The redhead shrugged, "Still, the fact is that you don't
trust anyone or anything - especially Ranma's love for
Akane."
Nabiki nodded sheepishly. "This is too sudden. The Wedding
Fiasco was less than three weeks ago, and then finding out
about you, and then they're suddenly 'together' and catching
up with all their feelings? It's too quick!" She looked
Ranko in the eyes. "And I *distinctly* heard you two
proclaiming undying love to each other."
Ranko smiled. "Love comes in a thousand different shades,
Biki. No two are ever alike. I love him deeply. I know him
better than he knows himself - and that is how never the
twain shall meet between us. His love for Akane is Meant To
Be, and he's loved her for ages, though he wouldn't admit
it. But I knew, and I pressed him to tell her, and he'd
become frightened, paralyzed with fear. He was afraid of her
rage and afraid of her rejection."
"That's why it took him so long?"
"Yep. Akane had to allow herself to open to him before he
could open to her. He was terribly alone, and needed someone
who knows of the same pain and loneliness," Ranko paused
briefly. "That's why we got along so well. He wasn't sure of
Akane before, but he knows now."
A peal of thunder rumbled outside, gently shaking the
windows behind their boards.
"It's getting worse," Nabiki looked up to the ceiling. "Do
you think Akane will forgive me for assuming that you two
were - ?"
"Rumpling the sheets? Knocking the boots? Doin' the Wild
Thing?" Ranko giggled. "I don't know. I think she will. You
just have to explain all that when she calms down."
She nodded. "I'm still not sure about you."
"Understandable. All I can say is just trust the Gods and
see that I'm not going to interfere with their love. I
worked too hard to bring them together, and I'm not going to
ruin it for fun and grins," She paused, listening to the
thunder nearing. "I have to double-check the outside and
make sure everything is secure."
"Yeah, I need to go talk to Akane. I'll wait in the dining
room for her to calm down."
* * * * * * * * * *
Out on the laundry porch ...
"LEMME GO!! LEMME GO!!"
"AKANE-SAMA!"
Akane became aware of *who* was holding her, and how
closely. She threw her arms around him. "How could she?! How
could she do that to me - to US?! Doesn't she CARE?!?"
Ranma soothed her, hugging her close. "Yes, Akane, she
does."
"Didn't *look* like it."
"Mebbe you should let her explain."
"Explain WHAT?!? What could she possibly say to explain
trying to make me think my fiance was cheating on me with
his own sister?!?"
Ranma sighed. Akane's inability to listen to explanations
was epic in scope - as he could well attest. "Akane-sama ...
please? Let her *try* to explain?"
She was silent for a moment. "O-okay," she agreed. "For
you."
"That's all I ask," he said, sitting down on the floor.
Akane settled down in his lap and made herself comfortable
(getting some amusement out of him trying to hide his
arousal). Holding each other close, they held one another in
a sweet silence, with only the sounds of the storm outside
to intrude.
"Ranma-sama?" she asked.
"Yes, Akane-sama?"
"Why are you so ... forgiving? Buta-hentai, Kuno, all those
others who tried to kill you, Nabiki and her pictures, your
baka father - even *me* - and you don't hold a grudge or
anything."
He shrugged. "Oh I do, I give as good as I get - I just
don't hold them too long. Life's too short to carry around
too much crap. I don't want to waste time hating," He kissed
her cheek. "I've already wasted a year not loving. That's
the most I intend to lose."
Akane thought back - was it less than a month ago? - on
Phoenix Mountain ... when she saw her body in Ranma's arms,
saw the Bright Light, and her grandmother - and heard Ranma
cry out 'I never got to tell you that I love you!' A cry
that called her back from the Light, from the Peace, back to
a world of pain and loneliness.
The world where Ranma said 'Ai shiteru' and held her close.
(Life *is* short.) she thought. She felt cold at that
thought, and held herself closer to her fiance.
Ranma squeezed her tight, trying to drive the pain out of
her soul. (You don't deserve to be hurt like this, Akane-
sama - especially by yourself. If it takes the rest of my
life, I'll make you happy. I swear it.)
"Ai shiteru," he whispered to her. "Always."
She gently pressed her lips to his, and the world went away.
* * * * * * * * * *
It was barely eleven in the morning, but it was so dark and
overcast that the streetlights were on. The wind was stiff,
the trees swaying, and a fine mist was driven through the
air, stinging the flesh of the bandana-wearing boy who
walked through the storm.
(At last!!) Ryoga thought. (Only four hours! The first time
I went from Tofu's clinic to the Dojo, it took five days! My
sense of direction's improving!)
"Now, Ranma, vengeance!" he snarled. "For the pig curse, for
stealing Akane from me, for betraying your vow of secrecy,
for everything else - I shall have BLOOD!"
Ryoga marched in almost a straight line for the Tendo Dojo,
with resolute determination, seeking vengeance.
Ranko checked the boards again, making sure the nails were
tight in the wood on the sills. Hopefully, there wouldn't be
much damage. She tried to be fast as well as careful; she
wanted to get in before the rain picked up and avoid having
hot water dumped on her, as the electricity was becoming
more shaky.
"RANMA! PREPARE TO DIE!!"
Ranko twitched to one side, letting the impossibly-heavy
combat umbrella smash into the ground. Just in time to see
the fist heading for her head.
"YOW!" she yelped, jumping straight up, flipping in mid-air,
and landing delicately on the porch.
She turned back to see a very pissed off Ryoga staring her
down, ready for battle.
"Hey, Ryoga, weren't you told to stay out?" she asked, going
to look at another board covered window.
"HOW DARE YOU TRY TO IGNORE ME!" he bellowed, charging. He
swung at her over and over, watching every blow fail to
connect.
"Hey, watch it, Ryoga-baby, bound to get hurt."
"HOLD STILL!!" he roared and charged at her. She gently
stepped out of his freight-train path, allowing him to crash
into the side of the house, clipping him on the back of the
head with a knife-edge blow as he passed.
"What was that?" Ranma asked against Akane's lips, surfacing
for air.
"Thunder," she replied, diving back down to his lips again.
"What is your problem, Lost Boy?" Ranko picked up the dazed
Ryoga's head, holding him up to her face to stare him eye to
eye. (She'd never been introduced to Ryoga, but she and
Ranma had always had fun yanking his chain and keeping him
away from Akane. She felt quite familiar with him.)
"I'll have my vengeance, Ranma! Your tricks won't work
forever!"
"Ran-KO, you dip. Ranma's inside."
"You think I'm stupid enough to -" he began, then remembered
the chart he read in Tofu's clinic. "You're - Ranma's curse?"
Ranko smiled. "We like to think of each other as brother and
sister. I think Genma is his *real* curse."
"Got a point there - but Ranma has a *CURE*!" He leapt up
and started swinging madly. "WHAT IS IT?!? WHAT'S THE
CURE?!?"
"We don't *have* a cure, you pig-headed twit!" she said,
trying to avoid his fists.
"LIAR!!" he yelled. "You're *standing* there!! How could you
be here if Ranma doesn't have a cure?!?"
(Better make this quick.) she thought.
Ryoga grunted as Ranko unleashed the Amiguriken, with
several hundred blows striking him in the head. He flew back
several meters, dazed.
Ranko put her hands in front of her and cried out "MOKO
TAKIBISHA!"
A few sparks sputtered in her cupped hands.
"Huh?" she said. (I *know* I recovered from Happosai's
draining. What happened?)
"SHISHI HOKODAN!!"
"Chikuso!" she exclaimed as she leapt over the energy bolt.
"Now I'll *beat* some answers out of you, Ranma!"
"RANKO, you simpleton!"
The light mist became a drizzle, falling on their already-
moist-from-the-mist bodies, pushing them over the vague and
ill-defined Jusenkyo Limit.
P-Chan shook his head free from his encumbering clothes and
went to growling at ... *him*?
"Great," her voice dipped lower, as P-Chan discovered he was
held in male-Ranma's hands. "You just *had* to keep me out
her and let me get wet, you slab of bacon."
"Bweee?!" he exclaimed, his eyes widening in surprise.
"Oh," Ranko-kun laughed heartily. "Why am I a guy? I tried
to tell you, P-Chan. I'm not 'Ranma's Curse'. I'm a new
person who changes into a guy with cold water, so there.
Now, you better get back to Tofu-sensei's clinic before he
misses you."
P-Chan didn't like the way she shifted his wiggling form in
her hands, so that his rump was to her, held out at arm's
length.
"Ranko Saotome, first sex-changing Japanese football star,
makes short order of Ryoga 'P-Chan' Hibiki. Oh, and say hi
to Tofu-sensei for me."
He whimpered, closing his eyes.
A swift kick up and the black piglet sailed high in the air,
heading toward central Nerima.
"WOO-HOO!" she cheered. "What a punt!" She brushed off her
red Chinese shirt. (Better go change.)
Doctor Tofu had wandered in to Ryoga's room to check on him,
and found the bed empty of young Hibiki.
He scratched his head, and became aware of the high-pitched
squeal coming from above the roof.
"Oh, no, not with the typhoon coming!"
P-Chan crashed through the ceiling, landing in a nest of
plaster and wood. The rain dribbled in, soaking the bed.
Tofu shook his head. "Didn't Kasumi-chan tell you were not
welcome at the Tendo household? Which one 'dropped you
off'?" he asked while fetching the hot water.
P-Chan remained still, already plotting his next battle amid
the dull pain. If he can't do it now, he'll do it later, and
with better protection from the water.
Perhaps a custom-made rain slicker ...
* * * * * * * * * *
Out on the rain, two figures stood watch as the ballistic
pig departed. The small withered figure on the staff seemed
unconcerned, while the figure besides her - in a rain
slicker, galoshes, and holding an umbrella - seemed
miserable.
"When do we go?!?" Shampoo whined. "Shampoo no like standing
out in rain like this!"
"When the time is right, child. Soon, the power will go out.
This will give us a short window of opportunity before the
Tendos adjust. Then we can acquire muko-dono and be gone."
Shampoo grumbled. The raingear was uncomfortably hot, and
the rain made her feel clammy. It wasn't even good raingear;
if it weren't for the Jusenkyo soap, she'd have changed
already. (Patience may be a virtue, but it can be overdone.)
* * * * * * * * * *
Ranma and Akane parted briefly, breathing heavily.
Akane had kissed boys before, but they had never been so ...
intense. And truth be told, she'd *never* used the tongue
before (But she never felt this way about *anyone* before).
Ranma had been kissed, but those had almost always been
girls who glomped him and forced themselves on him. He felt
clumsy and nervous at first, but Akane's eagerness gave him
confidence. It was a new technique, with a new goal, and he
applied himself to learning it as energetically as he
trained at the Hiryu Shoten Ha.
With similar results (from Akane's point of view).
"Wow," they said together, causing them both to giggle.
"We have *got* to do this more often," Akane said
breathlessly.
They held each other, listening to the rain and wind. Their
hands moved without conscious thought, gently caressing each
other.
Akane noted Ranma's hand on her breast with a trill of
pleasure from deep inside herself. Every other guy who had
ever done that made her nauseous and angry. This made her
feel comfortable, feel ... wanted. It was nice.
Ranma noticed where his hand was, and for the first time in
his life, didn't feel mortal terror. In fact, it felt ...
nice.
He wasn't sure which was nicer - feeling the breast, knowing
that the girl in question *wanted* him to do it, or knowing
it was *Akane's*. He'd touched other breasts in the past
(usually without his own consent), and a number of girls had
let him know they were willing. It must be because it's
Akane's, he decided.
"Um, Akane?" Ranma asked. "Did you spill something? I think
your skirt is wet."
Akane blushed. "That's... your fault."
Ranma looked stricken. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to spill
something on you it was an accident -"
"Ranma! calm down!" she said. "That was meant as a ... a
compliment."
"Huh?" he said.
"You ... aroused me."
Ranma looked confused. "I don't get it."
(You *would* 'Get It' if you weren't so damned determined to
be a virgin on your wedding night!) "Let me explain ..."
And she proceeded to explain - very slowly - what had
happened. And from her position on his lap, she could tell
that he understood.
"Oh my," he said in his best Kasumi voice.
Akane giggled. She took his hand and guided it up under her
skirt.
"A-akane-sama?" he said wonderingly.
"Hush," she whispered, guiding his fingers where she wanted
them to go.
"Feel that?" she asked, whispering. He nodded dumbly. "Now
just keep doing this - yes, that's nice ..."
Akane felt him tense up as her hand entered his pants. He
whimpered as another human hand touched him *there* for the
first time.
"How do you usually like this?" she asked.
"Like what?" he asked, his eyes half-shut.
"This," she said, moving her hand.
"EEP!" he said, his eyes going wide. "Th-th-that was - "
Comprehension dawned upon Akane. "Ohmigod .... you've never
done this for yourself, have you?"
"I - I'm not sure," he stammered.
(And I kept calling *him* a pervert! Prude is more like it.)
"Don't worry, Ranma-sama. Just - oooo! - keep doing what
you're doing, let me do what I'm doing -" she giggled, "-
and we'll *both* find the Rain and Clouds tonight."
"But it's already raining," he said.
She began working on him in earnest, which caused *him* to
become more energetic, and conversation didn't seem that
important anymore.
* * * * * * * * * *
Ranko-kun finished checking the windows, and headed for the
laundry room, so he could dry off before going into the rest
of the house. He came in the laundry-room door, took one
look, saw what he saw, then turned and left again.
As he made his way to the dining room porch, a smile crossed
his face. "And I couldn't even *explain* it to him without
him sticking his fingers in his ears and turning red. It's a
good thing I'm not the jealous type. But then again, who am
I to talk? The first time I read one of Kasumi's novels I
almost died from embarassment."
Once in the kitchen, she noticed the laundry room door was
ajar, and heard whimpering and moaning. (They should learn
to shut doors behind them. Serve them right if Ranma-kun got
caught with his hand in the cookie jar.) She chuckled at the
double-entendre.
As she got one of the thermoses that Kasumi had made up, she
quietly opened the laundry room door, locked it from the
other side, and softly shut it again. (*That* should give
them a bit of privacy.)
* * * * * * * * * *
Ranko came into the living room, drying her hair with a
towel after she changed back into her girlish form and got
back into a dress (oh Gods but she enjoyed dressing
properly!). Nabiki silently sipped tea, seated next to
Kasumi.
"They've been in the laundry room a long time," Nabiki
commented.
"It's probably taking little sister a long time to calm
down," Kasumi added, nose buried in a book.
Ranko remained silent, only a small smile to betray her
silent laughter. After what she saw when she accidentally
walked in on them earlier, she was pretty sure there were
other things going on, making them *not* calm in there. She
settled on the other side of the table and poured herself a
cup of tea.
"What's the position of the typhoon?" she asked casually.
"The mid-section is heading right into us. The winds should
be reaching gale-force is less than an hour," Nabiki said.
"The eye is going to clear us by fifty kilometers at least."
"Still strong enough," Ranko nodded. "Most of the power is
just outside the eye, especially from the northeast."
"I hope the walls hold up," Kasumi murmured. "We're still
paying for the wedding and can't quite afford to fix the
place anymore than we have to."
Nabiki flinched, and Ranko smiled, reaching over to chuck
her chin. Nabiki smiled back gently, and looked up to hear
the pounding coming from the front door.
"Expecting company, Oneechan?" Ranko asked her.
"No," Kasumi said, "No one is expected, especially in this
weather."
Nabiki got up and went to open the front door. A red
umbrella was facing them.
"Ryoga ... ?"
Ranko stood up, knowing that she had just punted him far
enough away to keep him lost for a day or two.
"Oh, of course not!" a female voice chirped, shaking the
umbrella and lifting it up. Nodoka appeared from under the
edge, smiling gently. "Is that any way to greet me?"
"Nodoka-obachan!" Nabiki bowed her head. "A pleasant
surprise," Her Coincidence Meter went on red alert. (What's
Nodoka doing here, just at this moment? Genma's little plan,
perhaps?)
Kasumi put down her book, and stood up to greet her.
"Welcome, Obachan. What brings you here in this storm?"
"I came as soon as I heard the good news," she answered
cheerfully, shrugging off her rain coat and umbrella.
"What news?" Ranko asked.
She stared at the woman who had given birth to her brother,
whom she shared the same genetic make-up, of whom she would
call 'mother' if she were born like everyone else.
And all she could feel was disgust and anger toward her.
"Why, you finally agreeing to marrying Akane," she replied,
sizing up Ranko. "Interesting, the way you have your hair
down now. Get out of that wet dress and into some normal
clothes, we have a wedding to plan."
Ranko stood speechless, her defenses for Ranma automatically
went up and her battle aura snapped on with a threatening
glow.
"Nobody is making Niichan do what he's not ready for, you
failure of a woman!"
(Piku-piku) Nodoka blinked, looking at the redheaded girl.
"Ranma, I'd appreciate if you treat me with the proper
respect as your mother."
Nabiki shuffled Kasumi back, wanting to not be in the way of
the impending battle.
Ranko's hair stirred from the increasing aura. Her eyes
glowed, causing Nodoka to hold the katana up.
"You are no mother!" she snarled. "Allowing your own son to
be tortured by his father, sold for food, wrapped in fish
and thrown in a pit of starving cats for several months!
Have you any idea what Genma-baka put him through to make
him into a 'man among men'?"
Nodoka was shocked. Her son had never spoken like this
before. And why was he talking like he *wasn't* Ranma?
"He became an emotional cripple without any social skills at
all!" Ranko continued, a lifetime of bitterness finally
being given vent. "He's backward in almost every possible
way because of what Genma has taught him about being
'manly'! As if *Genma* would know anything about being a
*man*!
"And what do you do? You make them pledge seppuku - willing
to kill your son if he doesn't match *your* deviant notions
of manliness! 'Manliness' - HA! You wanted a cheap brawler
with the morals of Happosai and the mental accomplishments
of a chimpanzee! What kind of a mother are you to do that to
him?!"
Ranma and Akane had come out of the laundry room, and stood
in shock at the impending battle in the living room.
Nodoka drew her katana, standing ready. "What demon are you,
to possess my son like this?!"
"I am *not* your son!" Ranko raised her fist in the air -
And Ranma grabbed her wrist, pulling his sister close,
murmuring, "Calm down, calm down, Ranko. Please don't hurt
her, she didn't know, she didn't know. She's only doing what
she thinks is right."
The Tendo girls watched as Ranma held Ranko tight, trying to
calm her battle aura down.
Both were in tears. Everything was going so right in his
life right now, he didn't need any troubles, especially
between Ko-chan and his other. He didn't want them to be
enemies, even though he knew Ranko's opinion on Nodoka
Saotome was ... less-than-fair.
Ko-chan always protected him, was always willing to take
care of those that had wronged him. Like a mother looking
after her young, as she had explained it once. If she was
being a mother, then perhaps Nodoka was no mother, but she
was the only mother he had.
Nodoka wrapped up her katana again, and turned to Kasumi and
Nabiki. "What's going on? Who is this?"
"Long story, obachan," Kasumi answered, smiling. "Have some
tea with us and warm yourself."
Akane approached the Saotomes, and placed her hand on
Ranko's back. "Ko-chan?"
She sniffed. "I'm so sorry, Ranma-kun, I never really liked
her, but I didn't know it would be so ... intense. I'm so
sorry, you two."
Ranma pulled Akane into a hug with them, and she pulled her
arms around Ranko's waist, comforting her as best she could.
"It looks like we both have messedpup mothers," she
whispered. "Mama actually told me I was worthless, while
yours practically abandoned you."
"But she didn't ... " Ranma protested.
"Yes, she did!" Ranko said angrily. "When she ditched Oyaji,
she ditched you as well. Then she comes around with a
seppuku pledge on your heads, unless you can prove you can
act like a depraved gorilla. What is the use of that? What
kind of woman - or mother - would consider window-peeping
and fight-instigating as desirable in a male?"
Ranma sighed. "Just - please, don't hurt her, Ko-chan."
She breathed deeply, and squeezed both of them. "I promise,
Niichan. I won't strike her. But don't expect me to be
nice!"
"That's my Ko-chan," he kissed her forehead and looked down
at her. "Did you lock the laundry room door on us?" he
whispered.
Ranko smiled, calming somewhat. "Privacy with your love is
always needed. You two should learn to lock doors when you
make out."
Akane blushed to her hair roots, and Ranko squeezed her
around the waist. "Don't worry, Akane-chan," Ranko said, "I
won't tell."
"Arigato," she answered
"Now," Ranma cleared his throat. "I think we better explain
to Mom - "
The power flickered out, and everything was in darkness.
Thunder rumbled outside, and the rain and wind increased
harder against the house.
"Good thing I found the lamp!" Kasumi chimed from the dining
room.
Suddenly, a 'thunk' was heard, and Akane felt a pair of arms
leave her. A draft swept across her body, then settled.
"Ranma-sama?!" she asked in alarm, feeling around wildly.
her hand landed on a breast. "Oops, gomen."
"Yeah," Ranko whispered. "Niichan's been snatched!"
"By who??" Akane felt tears well up in her eyes, and Ranko
felt for her hand to squeeze it.
"The Fiancees, of course. Which one is the problem."
Akane felt the old familiar emotion of rage pour into her,
and her battle aura flicked on.
"Steal *MY Ranma?!? I - think - not!! NO ONE lays a hand on
*MY* Ranma!!"
"Then get a rain jacket on, let's go look for him."
Akane turned and her foot landed on something. She picked it
up and felt the object.
"What is it?"
"A miniature spatula."
"Okonomiyaki Girl," Ranko stated.
"She's dead," Akane declared.
"Got that right, Oneechan."
"Let's go!" Akane growled, grabbing her raincoat.
"Um, we'll be right back," Ranko said. "Nabiki, Kasumi, you
stay here, we should be back soon," Ranko slipped on a coat
and ran out, changing to her male form before she got to the
front gate.
"YOW!!" Ranko-kun cried, almost doubling over. (Wearing
panties and suddenly turning male does *not* mix!) he
thought, trying to adjust himself.
As he ran down the street to catch up with Akane, curious
eyes followed his path.
"Hiba-chan," Shampoo asked. "Why does Airen wear a dress?
And why he not change?" (Does he have a cure?!? Instant
Nannichuan? *Something*?)
"I'm not entirely sure, granddaughter," Cologne answered.
"But our nageteppos won't work in the rain, and we can't
possibly take him when he's conscious. So we'll follow him."
The Amazons took off after what they assumed was the fleeing
form of Ranma in a dress.
* * * * * * * * * *
Chapter Six
Kodachi Kuno sat dejectedly in the dark on her bed.
They had taken her belts, her hoops, her clubs, her scarves,
her ribbon. There was nothing she could use to escape the
Nerima Rehabilitation Center and go home.
She didn't mean to ingest so much venom. She was just trying
to figure out the exact dosage it took to render a person
incapacitated for a while. Oh, well, at least her system was
now flushed of the poison. Who cares about the gajin Twelve
Step Program for drug abusers, she wasn't one of them.
Her father told the doctors she was trying to commit suicide
because her Ranma-sama had decided to marry some other girl.
The young woman sighed, and played with the medical tape she
had picked off one of the orderlies. She pulled the thick,
cloth-like tape from the roll, and twirled it in her
fingers.
An idea formed.
She pulled all the tape from the roll and doubled it all up,
forming an incredibly long stiff ribbon. She ripped it in
half, then fourths, creating four ribbons. Kodachi then
searched her room thoroughly and located long cotton-tipped
swabs, perfect to be held in the hand. She attached the
ribbons to the ends of the cotton swabs, then tested out
their aerodynamic and potential destruction on her room.
The results were quite pleasing. Pleasing enough to make her
laugh.
The orderly heard the demented maniacal laughter from the
Kuno room, and (since he was new and didn't know any better)
went to open the door to see what was going on.
The end of an improvised combat ribbon smacked across his
face, and he squealed in pain. Kodachi leapt out of her
room, landing on top of the young man, screaming, "YATTA!"
"Kodachi Kuno is breaking out!" a nurse shrieked.
Several orderlies attempted to restrain the gymnast; diving
and bear holding, but the nubile girl slipped out of the
grasps before they could catch hold. All the while, her new
ribbons were crippling and injuring the staff.
"Time to check out of here and find my Ranma-sama!" she
cried, pirouetting down the hall, leaping over the diving
orderlies.
(But first, a trip home to change out of these shapeless
rags and into something more appropriate for meeting my
darling Ranma.)
* * * * * * * * * *
Ryoga stood at the door of Dr. Tofu's clinic, forlornly
watching the wind whip the rain over the streets. Doctor
Tofu placed his hand on the boy's shoulder.
"Come in, Ryoga. The electricity's out, and I've no more hot
water for you."
"Aw, Doc, I was *this* close - "
He watched Tofu shake his head sadly, and Ryoga sighed.
"You abused Akane's trust for almost a year," Tofu said. "I
think her reason is legitimate. Who sent you back here?"
Ryoga scratched his head. "Eh, Ranma's curse - that
redheaded girl - or guy - whatever. She - or he - whatever -
says 'hi' to you."
Tofu smiled gently. "She's a 'she', just as you're a human
even though you change form to a piglet. And her name is
Ranko."
"Sorry," Ryoga said. "It's kinda confusing - I mean ... how?
Is Ranma still cursed? I don't understand this."
Tofu sighed, and sorted out what he could tell without
violating doctor/patient confidentiality. "From what I can
gather, the Jusenkyo curse not only gives a new form, and
the ability to change between the forms with water, but it
also grants a second soul."
"Nani?" Ryoga asked.
"Ranko came into existence the instant that Ranma was
cursed. They struggled for dominance for a while, but Ranma
almost always won. Then they established contact, and began
a friendship. For unknown reasons, they separated yesterday
and became independent beings - albeit with complementary
curses."
"Yeah, I noticed her curse," Ryoga said. "And Ranma still
has his curse?"
Tofu nodded. "So attacking either of them trying to beat a
'cure' out of them is a fool's errand."
"Does that mean that I ..."
"Have a piglet's soul inside you?" Tofu finished. "I checked
you ... and the answer is yes. If you didn't have the
discipline from your martial arts training, the piglet would
become dominant every time you changed."
"So every time I change, a small animal is ... tortured.
Gazing out my eyes, but having no control of his own body."
Tofu nodded sadly, and left Ryoga to gaze outside. The moral
ramifications of this discovery could be resolved only by
the victims.
Ryoga looked out into the storm, his soul darker than ever
before. The very first person he ever beat up was a neighbor
who kicked a puppy. Now he personally was responsible for
causing a small animal to suffer.
Two figures whipped by. He did a double-take and recognized
Akane and Ranma ... wearing a dress?! No, that's probably
that curse-girl, Ranko.
Who was formed from Ranma. She's probably as big a pervert
and reprobate as Ranma! She's probably luring poor Akane
away as part of a plot to take advantage of her!
He ran into the clinic and looked for a rain slicker, an
umbrella - anything to use.
* * * * * * * * * *
Ranma came to, feeling the ache at the back of his head. He
found himself blindfolded and bound, trapped inside a
waterproof tarp, slung over someone's shoulder.
He estimated the gait of the run, the strength, and the feel
of the hands holding him.
Ucchan.
"Lemme go, Ukyo!" he screamed.
"Ran-chan, I'm saving you from that monster!"
"What monster?" he struggled against his bonds, wriggling in
her grasp.
"Akane Tendo, honey! That jackass father of yours is still
wanting you to marry her, huh?"
He relaxed his movements, and grinned, sighing, "Yeah ... "
"Well, I'm going to save you from her! Marry *me* instead!"
"What? OW!" he exclaimed as he landed on his backside on the
floor.
Ukyo unwrapped him and pulled his blindfold down.
"Sorry to do that to you, Ran-chan, but that Akane and some
other tramp girl had their arms around you."
"That other girl is my *sister*," he snarled. "And I don't
appreciate you bad-mouthing her! Or Akane!"
Ukyo looked embarrassed. "Gomen, Ran-chan. I - wait a
minute! You don't have a sister!"
"I do now!" he protested.
"Then how come I never saw her before?" she asked, being
somewhat jealous (after that stunt Ranma pulled once trying
to convince her that he and Akane were married, she'd been
wary of such tricks.)
"You have!" he said, grabbing a suspiciously-convenient
glass of water and upending it. "Look familiar?" Ranma-chan
commented.
Ukyo's eyes grew wide. "Ohmigod ... she looks - I mean you
look - oh my," She lowered her head. "Gomen nasai - and I
*mean* that."
Ranma nodded. "And now that that's out of the way - WHY
HAVE YOU KIDNAPPED ME!?!"
Ukyo flinched, then went to turn on the gas ring to heat
some water. "I just wanted to save you from that - Akane!"
"She's your friend, Ukyo! Or she was - I don't think she's
forgiven you for throwing those bombs at the wedding."
"I'm sorry about that - but I couldn't let you get trapped
in a loveless marriage!"
"It won't be a loveless marriage! Not now!"
"Oh no ... they *brainwashed* you!!"
"What??" Ranma-chan started to edge toward the door. "Um ...
it's been fun, Ucchan, but I think I should get home -"
"OH NO YOU DON'T!!" she cried, pulling a mass of ultra-
sticky okonomiyaki dough out and hurling it at Ranma-chan's
feet.
"What are you - UGH!!" Ranma-chan cried as Ukyo's battle-
spatula walloped her upside the head.
"I really am sorry Ranchan," Ukyo said as she tied her
unconscious fiance up with super-elastic yakisoba, "but they
obviously did something to you. Until I can deprogram you,
I've got to keep you safe."
* * * * * * * * * *
"Now," asked Nodoka after Kasumi had served the tea. "Who
was that girl who looked so like my son. She referred to
Ranma as 'Niichan'?"
"Well, yes," Kasumi said. "Ranko -"
"Is she Ranma's sister?" Nodoka asked.
Nabiki and Kasumi looked at each other. The mere fact she
would ask that question hinted at all sorts of things. "Well
... yes," Kasumi admitted. "You see -"
"So Ranma knows," Nodoka sighed.
Nabiki arched an eyebrow. "And he's been rather upset, too."
she commented. (Of course, Ranma had been upset about
Akane's nervous breakdown, but Nabiki couldn't be
responsible about what Nodoka assumed - or what she spilled
as a result of that assumption.)
"But-" Kasumi began.
"Hush!" Nabiki hissed.
Nodoka slumped where she sat. "I had dreaded this day," she
whispered. "I should have known better. I should have -" She
took a deep breath. "Does Genma know?"
"I don't think so," Nabiki commented, waving at Kasumi to
keep silent.
"I know I shouldn't have, but Genma was gone for so long on
his training, and Ichiro was so caring ... Genma never
noticed that Ranma was conceived when he was gone. Or that
Ranma didn't even look like him," She smiled grimly. "Even
that girl - Ranko? - she looks like Ichiro, also. I can't
believe that Genma hasn't figured out that they have the
same father."
"Oh my," Kasumi commented.
"Um - he thinks that Ranko is *his* daughter," Nabiki
commented.
"Has Ranko mentioned her real father?" Nodoka asked. "It
would be good to hear of Ichiro-san."
"She thinks *Genma* is her father," Nabiki commented.
Nodoka smiled. "Somehow, it doesn't surprise me that Genma
would be unfaithful. It seems appropriate."
"Since you were?" Nabiki asked.
Nodoka nodded, looking ashamed.
"Oh my," Kasumi repeated.
"So this 'Ichiro' is Ranma's *real* father?" Nabiki
confirmed.
Nodoka nodded again, blushing.
Kasumi tried to look sympathetic. (It seems Ko-chan was
right.)
* * * * * * * * * *
Ryoga found his way into Dr. Tofu's private apartment. He
wasn't quite sure how, but he didn't think about it for
long.
His search for something completely waterproof was still in
vain. He trudged on, his need to defend Akane-san from the
perverted attentions of Saotome and his new sister fueled
his quest.
At last, he opened a trunk, and pulled out a black and
magenta suit, complete with breathing tanks, mask, hood, and
flippers.
"I didn't know the doc was into SCUBA diving," Ryoga
murmured.
(Light-bulb flash)
"Hey! With this on, I bet I could go out in the typhoon and
not get a drop on me!"
Ryoga stripped our of his clothes and struggled into the
wetsuit, cursing the fact that Tofu was too tall and skinny
to have such a tight suit. And *magenta*! What kind of a
color was that?
He glanced at the tanks and flippers and mask.
(Why the hell not?)
He pulled the tanks on and slipped his feet into the
flippers. He positioned the mask over his face and inserted
the mouthpiece, flipping the switch on. (There. I'm ready
for action.)
He placed one flipper out to take a step - and fell flat on
his face.
(Okay, this is going to take some getting used to.)
* * * * * * * * * *
Meanwhile, Akane and Ranko-kun raced through the wet streets
of Nerima toward Ucchan's.
"I'm going to break that bitch in two!" Akane hissed under
her breath into the wind. "I'm going to pound her into the
form of - of - *applesauce*! And then I'm going to - "
"Calm down, Akane-chan," Ranko-kun said, catching up to her
and running alongside.
"She kidnapped my Ranma!" Akane wailed. "First she ruins our
wedding, now she does this! Who the hell does she think she
is?!"
"You both knew something like this was going to happen once
you two decided to finally love each other," Ranko-kun
pointed out.
Akane closed her eyes, squeezing the tears out. She wiped
her face of the stinging rain.
Ranko-kun shook his head sadly. (She's way too fragile -
it's too soon after her breakdown. After we get Niichan
back, we have *got* to get Akane-chan away from all this for
a while. Somewhere quiet.)
Shampoo let the little monkey (er, Hiba-chan) guide her as
they were heading into the wind, as she had to place the
umbrella in her face to keep the water from washing the soap
off. She briefly wondered what effect it would have on her
skin by leaving it on for so long, but she distracted the
thought with visions of her Airen in intimate embraces with
her. (She may not really love him, but the thought of
getting naked with him and doing something involving dessert
toppings and ostrich feathers was not without its appeal.)
Cologne pogoed ahead on her staff, keeping a swift gait as
she trailed the two. The oddness of her future son-in-law
not having his curse take effect in the rain (never mind
that he wore a dress) was tumbling around in her ancient
head. The only theories she could entertain were water from
Spring of Drowned Boy or he had found a cure - one less
risky and time-consuming than the one she knew. If so, then
he *should* share it with her granddaughter! What a lovely
groom's gift to his bride! (Not to mention avoiding the
hazards of the cure she knew about.)
She pressed ahead, mindful of the debris swirling about
them.
Behind them, unnoticed, a figure in a black and magenta
SCUBA suit waddled after them, waving a big umbrella.
* * * * * * * * * *
The Old Pervert hopped the sealed fence of the Tendo Dojo,
reaching his aura out to feel for his kawaiikochan.
"Come to Happi-san, little girl, I am here to take you away
as my eternal bride! I won't hurt you, I promise. I need
you."
The girl's presence was gone.
Happosai relaxed and allowed his perceptions to expand
beyond his flesh. The swirling forces of the typhoon were
like an aurora to him ... and in the distance, several
bright flames, converging on one place.
(Ucchan's,) he thought. (And wherever there's an impending
disastrous battle, Ranma - and most likely my kawaiikochan -
are in the middle of it. As usual.)
With a demented cackle, he hopped away into the storm,
heading for his youthful bride.
* * * * * * * * * *
Konatsu was the first to be aware of the knocking on the
back door of Ucchan's.
He got up from the lotus position he was seated in, and went
to the door. He wondered who would it be, considering the
typhoon was getting stronger, and his heart melted at the
fact that it could be a poor child without a home, caught in
the storm.
Instead, he found a soaking wet and extremely angry Akane
Tendo and a soaking wet and serious looking Ranma wearing a
dress.
He did a double-take. Ranma usually had better fashion sense
(although that particular dress would look *fabulous* on his
female form).
"Aren't you supposed to be in the cafe with Ukyo-sama?"
Konatsu chirped.
"So, my brother *is* here," Ranko-kun stated, brushing past
him. "Thanks, Konatsu-san."
Konatsu stood in the doorway, watching the tight-lipped
Akane and what appeared to be Ranma's twin brother in drag
march into the dining area, with complete puzzlement. Then
closed the door and gave up trying to figure it out. It was
no place for him to question what was going on.
"What do you think is going on in there?" Cologne absently
mused, watching the two enter the restaurant's back door.
"Shampoo think party!" her great-granddaughter replied.
"Shampoo think *dry* party," (Gah, I want to get out of this
and get this gunky soap off. Then maybe have a hot soak and
slip into bed and relax with a guy - or three. I wonder if
the Misasoto brothers are available tonight?)
Cologne cleared her throat, and pogoed ahead to the back
door, saying, "Come along, time to get him. You're sweating
off the Jusenkyo Soap already."
"It hot in raincoat, Hiba-chan," Shampoo replied, following
her. (If this ruins my skin, you little monkey, I'm going to
kill you!)
Ryoga barely managed to keep up with the damned flippers on
his feet, but he kept the Amazons in sight the whole time.
After all, when Amazons trail someone, that someone is
usually Ranma.
He hefted his umbrella. (I'll save you from the hentai
Saotomes, my darling Akane.) he thought, flopping through
the rain toward Ucchan's.
* * * * * * * * * *
Chapter Seven
"A-HA!!" Akane cried.
Tied up with noodles and stuck to the wall of Ucchan's main
dining area was a semi-concussed and delirious Ranma-chan.
Ukyo was so surprised that she dropped her copy of
'Deprogramming for Fun and Profit' that she'd been reading.
She should have been surprised; standing in the kitchen
doorway was not only Akane 'The Uncute Tomboy' Tendo, but
Ranma Saotome in a scarlet Chinese-style dress with his hair
loose around his shoulders.
"What the hell - ?" Ukyo asked intelligently.
Ranko-kun noticed the gas ring and the gently-steaming
kettle. "Oh, good," he said, the took it and poured some on
his head, collapsing back into Ranko.
"Wha - wha-" Ukyo observed. (She wasn't quite firing on all
cylinders, was she?)
"RANMA-SAMA!!" Akane cried, running up to the bound girl -
uh, guy. Ukyo responded by blocking the way with her
spatula. "What do you think your doing with my fiancee?!?"
she demanded.
"Protecting him from *you*, you thug!" Ukyo insisted.
"Always hitting him, yelling at him, poisoning him -"
"That's over with, Kuonji!" Ranko interrupted. "They're
*together* now! Really together! This mess is over!"
"Who the hell are *you* to say anything about how Ranma-
honey feels, weirdo?"
"The name's Ranko Saotome, and Ranma and I are brother and
sister!" She stepped up to her bound now-female sibling with
the kettle.
Ukyo slashed with the battle spatula, ripping the kettle
open, spilling warm water on the floor.
"You expect me to believe that *suddenly* Ranma has a sister
with almost the same curse that appears out of nowhere, at
almost the same time that he *suddenly* becomes infatuated
with Akane the Lesbian Stereotype?!?"
Akane's battle-aura provided a cheery glow to the room (not
to mention made steam rise off of her still-wet form).
"You'll be lucky if I stop with killing you, bitch!"
"You can't fool me!" Ukyo continued to rant at Ranko. "I
know that you're part of the evil plot to steal my Ranma-
honey! Well I won't let you! He's my fiancee! *My* fiancee!"
Akane advanced on Ukyo. "Ranma-sama is *my* fiancee - *my*
lover - the father of *my* children! And you will *not* do
this again!"
At the kitchen door, Shampoo and Cologne listened intently.
(So,) thought Cologne, (we didn't follow Muko-dono here, but
his sister - who has the *exact opposite* Jusenkyo curse??
And Ranma and Akane have finally admitted their all-too-
obvious feelings?? A minor complication. And if this 'Ranko'
child has comparable raw talent to her brother, she would
make a magnificent Amazon!)
"Now, child, while they're distracted!" Cologne hissed.
"NIHAO!!!" Shampoo cried, smiling as sunnily as she could
despite the heavy raincoat and semi-melted soap. She made a
flying leap over Akane's head and landed on top of Ranko,
crashing to the floor.
At the same moment, a SCUBA suited figure stumbled right
through the wall, waving around a combat umbrella and
shouting, "PREPARE TO DIE, SAOTOMES!!!"
"My cafe!" Ukyo cried.
"My head!" Ranko moaned.
"My fiance!" Akane took the moment of distraction and
started tearing the noodles off Ranma-chan.
"Oh, no, you don't!" Ukyo and Shampoo both yelled in unison,
posed to fight Akane for a final time.
* * * * * * * * * *
Happosai paused, seeing the flames of battle aura glowing
bright white.
"Just in time to take my kawaiikochan away, when the
children are busy," he chuckled to himself and pulled a
still-cold can of soda from his pack. He guzzled it in two
gulps and he was suddenly replaced by a tall handsome young
man.
"Much better," he sighed. "There are advantages to having
drunk that cask of cursed water at that so-called wedding."
He ran the rest of the way to Ucchan's, longing for the
unlimited ki from his chosen bride.
* * * * * * * * * *
Akane turned, only half done with her freeing of her fiance,
and she sighed, "Don't you losers understand he wants to
marry and make children with *me*?"
"THE PERVERT MUST DIE!" Ryoga shouted, swinging his umbrella
dangerously close to Ranma-chan.
Ranko pushed Shampoo off her back and jumped up to grab at
his umbrella. Ryoga turned to see Ranko with a death grip on
his weapon.
"Leggo, weirdo!"
"You look like a total geek in that suit. Magenta?"
Meanwhile, Ukyo and Shampoo were ganging up on Akane.
"I was his first, by right!"
"Daddy arranged our marriage before any of us were born!"
Shampoo thought fast. (She has a valid point. Damn. Oh,
well, Airen is stupid to want to marry that thing. But the
Old Ghoul wants me to marry Airen! Argh! ... Hey, Ryoga
looks pretty cute in that tight SCUBA suit - if he takes
those other things off ...)
"Airen beat Shampoo, now must marry," she replied instead.
"Groom raid!"
"Over my dead body," Akane growled, letting her battle aura
whip up hotter.
"So be it," Ukyo raised her spatula.
* * * * * * * * * *
Unnoticed by the battling teenagers, a small figure silently
slipped out from behind the counter. He pressed out to the
typhoon, battling the elements of rain and wind.
Despite the natural disaster engulfing Nerima, he quickly
made it to the Kuno mansion.
"Master Tatewaki, Master Tatewaki!"
Tatewaki Kuno glanced up from his meditation upon the
posters of his twin loves. "What is it, good Sasuke? Be
quieter, for my twisted sister hath returned. What news have
you brought me? Of my Akane Tendo and my Pig-Tailed Girl?"
Sasuke inhaled and whispered furtively, "There is an orgy
going on at Ucchan's! The Pig-Tailed Girl is tied up with
noodles! Another girl who looks like her is being molested
by this boy in a SCUBA suit!"
"Looks like her?" Kuno thought about this, which caused a
squeaking sound. "Could it be my Pig-Tailed Goddess has a
twin sister?"
Images of threesomes passed through Tatewaki Kuno's mind.
The idea of being alone with a pair of redheaded Goddesses
made all his blood rush to a single part of his anatomy.
(Good thing he wore baggy clothes.)
"And a threesome of Akane, the Chinese girl, and Ukyo is
underway!"
Even more hentai images entered his head. "Obviously the
work of the evil sorceror!" Kuno picked up his bokken,
asking, "Any sign of the vile Saotome?"
"None, master."
"The coward no doubt lies in wait, revelling in the
depravity he forces upon my Pig-Tailed Goddesses and Akane
Tendo. I must go and stop him from doing so. For I am the
Blue Thunder of Furinkan High, the soul of protection!"
"Not alone, brother dear!" Kodachi exclaimed, her hoop
announcing her approach. Dressed in her usual violet leotard
with the black rose decal, she was armed and prepared for
battle. "Ranma-sama is a gentleman! If he is there, then
he's obviously been forced by the Red-Haired Witch and the
vile Akane Tendo! I must save my Ranma-sama from those
insane trollops!"
Sasuke kept the straightest face he could, trying not to
comment on the 'insane' description. (In this house, the
ability not to comment on the sanity or insanity of
*anything* was a survival trait.)
The Kunos charged out in the typhoon, out to save their
respective loves from the others ... and Tatewaki suffered
through visions of two playful redheads in his bed.
Sasuke sighed as his foolish employers went off on another
hair-brained mission, and decided to relax with Master
Tatewaki's enormous pornography collection.
* * * * * * * * * *
Shampoo and Ukyo swung simultaneously, B.A.S. (Big-Ass
Spatula) and bonbori both arcing for Akane's head.
Akane blocked both with her forearms, the heat of her
battle-aura melting through the weapons instantly.
"YEEK!" Both girls said simultaneously as the severed tops
of their weapons clattered on the floor, leaving them with
smoking stumps.
For months, Akane had been disregarded as a martial artist
because Ranma was so much better. Next to him, most martial
artists looked puny.
But Akane *was* a warrior trained, from a lineage of
warriors. And she was fighting for her lover.
Not to mention she was royally *pissed*.
Ryoga heaved up on his umbrella, lifting Ranko off the
floor, then slung it in an arc, sending Ranko toward a wall.
Ranko turned in mid-air, hit the wall feet first, and sprung
back toward Ryoga. A quick mid-air flip, and she plowed her
foot right into Ryoga's face, then pushed off his head and
did a somersault.
"GOSHIN RYU SEI FU!" she cried as she tore off her skirt
and wrapped it around his head. She landed as he flung
around wildly and tore her skirt away from his face.
Ryoga saw the well-curved redhead, with only part of a
skirt, her lacy pink panties exposed to casual view. The
SCUBA mask kept the nosebleed contained, but couldn't
conceal his bugged-out eyes.
Their eyes met, and she paused a moment, recognizing Ryoga's
eyes being similar to her Niichan's.
(No way.) she concluded, and slammed her elbow into the side
of his head.
Akane plowed into her opponents with savage fury, first one
then the other, her aura searing their flesh and causing her
clothes to smolder.
Ukyo and Shampoo tried to fend off the enraged Akane, but
each blow burned their skin, being delivered too hard and
fast to deflect bare-handed.
(I'm gonna die,) Ukyo thought (I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die,
I'm gonna die,). She gave ground before the assault, moving
bact toward the counter, where she kept her spare spatula.
As Ukyo moved back, she and Shampoo moved apart. When Akane
turned to hit Ukyo again, Shampoo pulled out her spare
bonbori and prepared to deliver a double blow to Akane's
head.
Ranko saw the blow about to be struck. In a blur of motion,
she grabbed a pair of chopsticks and flung them.
The sticks hit Shmapoo's hands, imbedding themselves. The
Amazon cried out and dropped her weapons. She pulled the
sticks from her bleeding hands - just in time to see Akane's
foot.
Shampoo sailed through the front window with a crash.
Wind howled into the cafe, the semi-darkness only
illuminated by battle auras and the gas stove. Rain whipped
in at times, dampening the floor, and the cursed Jusenkyo
alumni kept a fair distance, knowing that their weakness was
too close for comfort.
(Oh, crap! This rain gear is going to get me killed!)
Shampoo stripped out of the coat and waders as she dashed
back in, letting her skin breathe in the bathing suit she
wore underneath, the Jusenkyo soap layer foaming.
"Shampoo now kick ass!"
"We'll see about that, Amazon Girl," Ranko immediately went
to pounding her. Shampoo managed to give as good as she got
- almost.
Ukyo flipped up and away from the enraged Tendo girl,
putting the counter between them. A quick twitch sent two
minature spatula-shuriken toward Akane, who deflected them
casually (reducing them to molten metal in the process).
With a mighty kiai, Ukyo grabbed the spare battle-spatula
and, with a spin for momentum, delivered a beheadding blow.
Akane caught the spatula one handed, pulled it from Ukyo's
grasp, and slammed the handle across the chef's face,
sending her sprawling across the floor.
Akane flipped the spatula in her grip, walked around the
counter, and raised the spatula ...
"Akane!! NO!!" Ranko yelled - then screamed as Ryoga's fists
slammed into her kidneys. She hit the floor on her knees.
(Damn! Should have given him an extra kick!) Ranko thought.
Suddenly, a black rose shot into the cafe, embedding itself
into the wall over a dazed Ranma-chan's head. "Huh?" she
moaned.
"Where is my Ranma-sama, you trollops?!" Kodachi demanded.
Everyone paused to look up and see the Kunos framed by the
hole in the wall.
"Where is the vile sorceror ... ?" her brother paused,
seeing *two* redheads inside Ucchan's, one in a ripped
Chinese dress with her panties exposed and the other tied
with noodles.
Kuno felt his Junior Partner stir inside his pants. He stood
there stupified. (He was stupid before, but now he just
stood there and gaped)
Akane spatula-slammed the other kettle of hot water on the
stove toward her fiance, causing the bound redhead to shift
back into his former self. He yelped, the water almost
scalding him awake.
Ranko sighed, and took the moment of distraction to wallop
Shampoo toward Kodachi, sending both girls flying out into
the typhoon.
"Kuso!" Shampoo swore, feeling the soap completely wash off
in a lather down the street. She took a flying leap into the
cafe -
Too late. Instead of a purple-tressed Amazon, a pink-with-
purple-points cat landed in Ranma's lap. He looked down at
the frazzled, damp cat, and his eyes blew out of their
sockets.
"N-n-n-neko!!!" he screeched.
Shampoo-neko was stuck in the slightly-adhesive noodles,
unable to move. Ranma's terror kept building as the Horror
sat there, claws and teeth and hideous eyes -
Suddenly, Ranko yowled.
Ryoga saw the redhaired girl look at him with an inhuman
glare ... a *familiar* inhuman glare.
(Nani?!) he thought in confusion. He glanced over at Ranma -
the male one - who was in hysterics from the cat squirming
around his lap and Ranko - the female one - was in cat
frenzy.
(Oh crap,) he thought.
A quick swipe of her paw - er, hand - and Ryoga's umbrella
fell into neat segments. A second swipe, and Ryoga's wetsuit
had several parallel tears, his skin underneath accented by
thin streaks of blood.
(I'm ... bleeding!?! But Ranma goes out his way, even in
nekoken, to not ...)
It hit him like a revelation. Ranma had *always* held back -
that he never really had a chance to beat him.
And that this person wasn't Ranma, but was just as good.
Ryoga backed away in fear - out the hole in the wall, into
the typhoon.
The qxygen tank hit the ground with a clang. The piglet
scrambled, trying to free himself from the wetsuit.
(Aw, hell. Why me?) Shampoo thought as the neko-Ranko
stalked up to her. With a burst of adrenalin, she ripped
herself free and proceeded to make a run around and around
the restaurant to escape the claws of Neko-Ranko.
"Fascinating," Cologne murmured. "Ranma's fear of cats still
exists, but somehow he's transferred his cat persona to his
sister. Too bad she wasn't born into the tribe, she'd be
perfect."
Neko-Ranko paused at Ranma, looking down at him, then raised
a paw and slashed him free of the noodles. Ranma immdiately
grabbed her by the waist and threw her out in the rain,
knowing the curse would override the Neko-ken.
He turned back to Akane, gasping, and she ran into him arms.
"Ranma-sama!"
"Akane-sama, don't leave me!"
They embraced, and looked hard at the Fiancees and admirers.
Ranko-kun came back in inside, coughing from a lungful of
water, carrying an semi-conscious Kodachi and a wetsuit-
wrapped piglet. "Arigato, Niichan."
He shoved Kuno out of the way and tossed her burden inside.
Ryoga lunged at him, only to get punted into the far wall
and have a Kodachi thrown on him. The nosebleed he suffered
was *not* from an injury.
He leaned down to where the bottom to the torn kettle had
landed and poured the small bit of still-warm water
remaining over his head. Oddly, there was enough.
Ranko turned and joined Ranma and Akane. She stared hard at
the Kunos, Ryoga-buta, Ukyo, Neko-Shampoo, and Cologne, and
asked, "Who's stupid enough to go first against the
Saotomes?"
* * * * * * * * * *
Chapter Eight
Ranma and Ranko stood on either side of Akane, the three
surrounded in a single mighty battle aura.
They stared hard at the Kunos, Ryoga-buta, Ukyo, Neko-
Shampoo, and Cologne.
Ranko broke the silence, "Who's stupid enough to go first
against the Saotomes?"
('The Saotomes'?) Akane thought. (Yes, the Saotomes.) In the
future, when anyone would ask her, it was at that point,
standing with those who loved and respected her, that she
became Akane Saotome.
Suddenly, a new person bounded through the hole in the side
of the cafe. He was soaked, causing the purple gi to cling
invitingly to his smooth skin. His blonde locks fell into
his dark eyes sensually, as his smoldering gaze rested upon
Ranko Saotome in the ripped Chinese dress.
"That ... " Cologne murmured. "Looks familiar."
A nosebleed appeared from the young man, and he made his way
toward Ranko.
"MY KAWAIIKOCHAN, I'VE COME FOR YOU, MY BRIDE!"
"Happosai???" Akane and Ranma stood in complete dumb shock.
"TRAITOR!!!" Cologne shrieked, raising her staff.
"EEK!!!" Ranko added, pulling the rest of her dress down to
cover herself.
Ranma pulled her behind him and Akane. "The cursed water you
drank did affect you, huh?" he asked.
"Of course," Happosai replied nonchalantly. "And unlike you
children, I don't have to worry about getting wet. Drinking
is the only way to trigger it."
Neko-Shampoo remembered to close her mouth and stop
drooling. (Hot damn! Hiba-chan didn't tell me he was *this*
cute!)
"Hmph," Akane said. "Betcha drinking sake messes you up."
"True," Happosai agreed. "Sake is properly drunk warm. Turn
back into a wrinkled dirty old man whenever I want to get
properly plastered," He leered at Ranko. "Of course, I'll
have no need of it - once I have my kawaiikochan."
Ranko shook her head. "I always wanted to be carried off by
a handsome martial artist, but not him!"
"You ain't touchin' my sister, scumbag!!" Ranma growled.
"What?" Kuno asked, only now understanding what was going
on. "You dare kidnap my Redheaded Goddess for your
perversions, foul demon?"
"Damn straight, boy!" Happosai replied. "And I've got
*thousands* of perversions, too!" he said proudly.
Kuno's mind was going at a thousand miles an hour, visions
of delicious domination going through his head. (Gah, this
is torture! I *must* have her!) "You shall never have her,
not whilst the Blue thunder lives!"
"Forget it, little man," Happosai told him, and posed to
fight Ranma to claim his young bride.
Kuno charged forward, weapon at the ready. "FOUL MONSTER, I
SHALL SMITE THEE - YOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWW!!! OUCH!! OWIE!!"
Kuno found himself at Happosai's feet, twisted into a bow by
the young blonde man. "That didn't hurt," he said.
The old-pervert-trapped-in-a-stud's-body turned back to the
Saotomes.
(Oh hell - Kuno tried to protect Ko-chan. Now I owe him a
debt of honor.) Ranma thought disgustedly.
Ukyo whipped out a double-handful of mini-spatulas and
hurled them toward Akane's head. (So now I'm helping
Happosai,) she thought, (Who'd've thunk?)
Akane's hand flicked up, knocking the now-partially-molten
projectiles away. Her head snapped around, focusing on Ukyo.
"Oops," Ukyo chirped as Akane stomped up to her.
"Um ... forgive and forget?" Ukyo said in friendly tones.
"Forget it, sister! YAH!" Akane used her palm to push Ukyo
in a sudden snap, right to the back door of the cafe.
She crashed through the door, and landed face-first on
Konatsu.
"Ukyo-sama?" he blushed deeply, feeling her body on top of
his, her scent filling his nose.
She looked down at him, feeling a slight clench in her
stomach, and sighed. She collapsed, burying her head on his
chest, and sobbed.
"Ranchan wants to marry that gorilla! Ranma no baka!"
Konatsu did the only thing that came to him: he drew his
arms around her and hugged her to him.
* * * * * * * * * *
Happosai advanced on Ranma and Ranko, drawing up his ki to
get rid of the boy. His younger state made him stronger, and
his need to have the girl more dire.
"KACHU TENSHIN AMIGURIKEN!!" the Saotomes cried, bombarding
Happosai with hundreds of body-blows each.
He smirked, then shot his hand out to grab Ranko. Ranma
dived into the path of the Old Lech's hand.
Happosai's hand wrapped around Ranma's throat, choking him.
Ranma brought his foot up, connecting it with the blond
man's face, then cracked his forearm down on Happosai's
wrist, forcing him to drop the boy.
"Neechan, get out of here!" Ranma shouted.
"Hell, no!" she cried. The girl jumped up and toward the Old
Pervert, her body twisting as she delivered a perfect Flying
Crescent Kick, her foot slamming across Happosai's handsome
face.
Happosai rolled with the blow, and grabbed her ankle,
throwing her down to the floor.
"AAARRGGHHHHHHH!!!" she shrieked, her ki draining at the
contact. Happosai's face had a leer of inhuman lust as he
drained Ranko's very life force.
Suddenly, a staff walloped Happosai behind the head, and
Ranma's fist connected with the pervert's face.
He let go of her ankle, dazed by the double play. "That
didn't hurt, y'know," he croaked before he fell.
Cologne stood behind Happosai as he collapsed to his knees
from the double blow. "The bastard had been asking for it
for almost three hundred years.", she stated with dignity.
"Whatever works, Old Ghoul.", Ranma grinned. Ranko smiled
and kicked a piece of wall toward Kodachi to help out Akane.
* * * * * * * * * *
Kodachi, meanwhile, had regained consciousness and was
engaging Akane in an impromptu Martial Arts Rhythmic
Gymnastics contest; her need to save her Ranma-sama from a
doomed marriage driving her to beat Akane with all weapons
known to her.
Akane had given as good as she got, not only using the items
and debris around her, but catching and re-using Kodachi's
weapons as well.
A chunk of masonry hit Kodachi in the side, causing her to
fall to her knees.
"Give it up, Kodachi-ama!" Akane snarled. "You've lost!
Again!"
"NEVER!!" snarled the mad noblewoman. "I'll kill you and
he'll be MINE!!" The ribbon snapped forward like a whip.
"LIKE HELL!!" Akane yelled, bringing her hands up before
her.
Ranma had tried to teach her the basics of ki-blasts, but
Akane had never managed to focus her power enough. Now her
emotions were pure, unclouded by doubt or self-hate. Now she
didn't think or question - she acted.
"JEIGOKU SEISATSU!!"
The Inferno Spirit Obliteration - fueled by her (for once)
righteous fury - slammed into Kodachi, searing her clothes,
vaporizing her ribbon, and hurling her into the wall. She
groaned, then fell smoldering out of the gymnast-shaped
depression onto the rubble-strewn floor.
While Kodachi examined the inside of her skull, Akane made
use of the leftover noodles to quickly wrap up the demented
girl.
* * * * * * * * * *
The Saotome siblings and the Old Amazon looked at the prone
body of Happosai.
"Damn!!" Ranko exclaimed. "We nailed him!"
"Not ... yet ... " Happosai moaned, and reared up, slamming
his face right over Ranko's panty-covered groin.
"OH GOD NO!!!"
Ranko felt the drain begin, her life swirling out of her
with her heart in a frenzied dance.
The two of them were locked together by tendrils of life-
force, with Ranko getting visibly weaker while Happosai got
stronger.
"KO-CHAN!" Ranma cried, and grabbed her around her
shoulders.
The tendrils wrapped around him, linking him with them,
Happosai between the two.
Akane finished binding Kodachi and stood up to see the play
of energy between Ranko, Happosai, and Ranma.
Ranko felt Ranma's strength pour through her veins, his ki
mingling with hers, fighting to save it from death. A
circuit connected between their souls, their yin and yang
energies blending and dancing together in perfect balance,
creating a deeper, stronger, and far greater power than man
or martial artist had ever known.
Between then, over the prone Happosai, a greenish-blue ball
of force gathered.
And, unknown to them, a greater Power reached out ...
(Ranko.)
(Ranma.)
(Ready.)
(Now.)
Like a lightning bolt, the force-ball descended upon
Happosai.
The blast screamed through Happosai's body and soul, down to
his DNA and genes. A blinding flash filled Ucchan's and
exploded like a silent nuclear light.
* * * * * * * * * *
The smell of ozone filled the shell of a building, as the
winds and rain continued their rant over Nerima.
Akane held her fiance and his sister in her arms, both weak
from the ki blast. Tears stung her eyes, but she held them
in, never letting the old Amazon know she was weak enough to
cry.
A hand touched her shoulder, and she looked up to see
Cologne holding a squirmy baby in a tattered purple gi.
"Want a taste for yourself, Ghoul??" Akane snarled.
"Not today, child," Cologne said.(Especially since I've
seen what you've become. Eliminating such potential would be
a waste.)
"Arigato," She looked at the child. "So, what are you going
to do with Happosai?"
Cologne looked down at the baby in her arm, smirking at the
blond child.
"Even the Gods know all debts must be paid. I will take him
back to the Amazon village and raise him to be a virtuous
knight and protector of down-trodden women."
Akane smiled. "A fitting second chance for the old hentai.
Good luck," A thought crossed her mind. "What about his
Jusenkyo curse? Won't he change back to his pervert self
when he gets a hold of warm liquid?"
"I don't know," admitted Cologne. "But in this form, and
with the nature of his curse, the cure will be easy to
administer."
Akane's eyes got wide. "You have a cure??"
Cologne smiled. "I see no harm in telling you," (Besides
which, the gesture will make you will feel friendly towards
me. The Amazon Nation can always use new strong blood - male
or female.)
"The cure to the Curse of Jusenkyo is simple in principle,
but difficult in implementation. All a victim need do is to
avoid transforming for a year and a day, and the victim is
frozen in whatever form he has been in."
"A year and a day?" Akane gasped. "When he tries to stay in
one form, every weird coincidence in the world suddenly pops
up to change him!"
"That's why it's difficult in implementation," Cologne
affirmed.
"Akane?" Ranma mumbled.
"yeaaa," Ranko bleated.
Knowing that they typhoon made leaving for assistance
dangerous at this point, Cologne hopped down from her staff
to check on the Saotome's condition.
It wouldn't do for three such prime candidates for Amazon
citizenship to die prematurely.
* * * * * * * * * *
Later that evening, the winds had died to a gentle howl, but
the rain was still hard, causing minor flooding in the
streets.
A knock came from the front door of the Tendo house. Kasumi
went to the door, hoping it was the rest of the family
returning from wherever they went. Ranma, Akane, and Ranko
would probably have a tale to tell. (After all, *Akane*
charging out to rescue *Ranma* from a kidnapper? Probably a
unique event.)
Instead, she found an older man with grey-shot black hair
standing in the doorway, looking around in puzzlement.
Kasumi brought him in from the storm and offered him a
towel.
"Welcome to the Tendo Dojo. May I help you?" she asked.
"Yes. I'm looking for my son Ryoga. I hear he sometimes
frequents the Tendo Dojo."
Kasumi's face hardened. "He did. He is no longer welcome
here for the offenses he has committed against this family."
Mr Hibiki looked somewhat shocked at this statement.
"However, Hibiki-san, there's no reason to turn you out into
the storm. Please make yourself at home. When the storm lets
up, we can escort you to the Tofu Clinic, where your son was
last seen."
Hibiki-san bowed. "Arigato, Tendo-san."
She bit her lip and went back into the dining room.
"Oneechan? Hibiki-otosan is in the hall, looking for Ryoga."
"Hibiki?" Nodoka looked up. She stood up and entered the
hall ahead of the girls.
Her blue eyes met the senior Hibiki's brown ones, and she
clasped her hand over her mouth.
"Ichiro-kun - it's you!"
"Nodoka-chan?"
Nabiki facefaulted and Kasumi said, "Oh, my ... Ranma and
Ryoga are ... oh, my ..," (Well, it explains the resemblance
between them ... )
* * * * * * * * * *
Tofu felt the flare of a ki-blast all the way from his
clinic. Even though he disdained the prominent acrobatics of
the younger crowd, tonight he leapt across the rain-slick
rooftops of Nerima toward Ucchan's, medical bag in hand.
A leap brought him to the sundered front window of Ucchan's.
Looking in, he saw the Saotome siblings in Akane's arms,
Kodachi Kuno in a smoldering heap and tied with noodles,
Tatewaki Kuno twisted in a heap, the familiar forms of
Shampoo-cat and Ryoga-pig under a table, and Cologne holding
a baby.
"Hell of a party," he commented.
As he rushed over to the Saotomes, he noticed that Akane was
sweating in rivers. Looking with his third eye, he saw that
Akane's body was on the verge of collapse. She had used
almost every bodily reserve, pouring her entire supply of
life-force into her battle aura.
(The Heart's Fire,) he remembered.
The Heart's Fire was a very dangerous - and rare - advanced
ki ability, enhancing every physical ability and reaction,
as well as generating an aura of heat. She must have been
virtually invincible during the battle that had (obviously)
just taken place. Indeed, the burns and melted weapons lying
around testified to the struggle her opponents had put up.
But now she was near death.
A quick tap on the proper shiatsu point put her to sleep,
and a few more slowed down her bodily processes enough to
allow her to begin healing.
A quick examination of the Saotomes showed that they were
exhausted, but not to the extent Akane had been. And their
imbalanced auras were now normal - powerful, but normal.
A quick glance showed the rest were in no danger.
"Cologne-san," he asked. "Can you describe what happened
here?"
Cologne smiled. "Where to begin ..."
* * * * * * * * * *
Chapter Nine
Nerima lay sleepily in the golden glow of morning. The still
wet streets reflected the sunrise like mirrors, the air
thick with humidity. The debris of house shingles, trash,
tree limbs, bits of sheds and fences littered the streets.
The only real damage appeared to be a small restaurant
called Ucchan's. The insurance would be taken care of later.
In Tofu's Clinic, the Saotome siblings awoke together with a
start. They looked around in a daze, then focused.
"Tofu-sensei!" Ranko exclaimed.
"Akane-sama!" Ranma cried.
Tofu came in, calm and collected. "Don't worry, Ranma-kun.
Akane-chan is sleeping peacefully in the next room. She-"
(ZOOM!!)
Ranko got up and picked up Tofu-sensei from where he had
fallen, examining the foot-shaped bruise on his face. "You
seem alright," she reported.
"Thank you for your expert consultation, Ranko-sensei," he
said with a good-natured smile.
Ranko found herself smiling, as well as blushing.
"How about the others?"
"Well," Tofu began, "Ryoga and Shampoo only sustained minor
injuries. They're resting in my office until we can get some
hot water. Kodachi and Ukyo are both in the psychiatric ward
for now, until we can find a more suitable location for
them. Kuno is in stable condition, just out of surgery.
"Akane was drained completely by the Heart's Fire that she
employed, and should sleep for another day - and this time
she *must* get a few day's rest!"
Ranko nodded. "I'd reached the same conclusion before. I
know a place where she and Niichan can stay in some peace
and quiet."
"Do you remember what happened to Happosai?" he asked.
Ranko's brow furrowed. "Not exactly. I vaguely recall...
Ranma and I ... did something."
"What you did," Tofu explained, "Was flood him with your
combined imbalanced energies, reverting him to infancy."
Ranko's eyes widened. "We did *WHAT*!?!"
"I examined Chibi-Happosai," Tofu continued, "and he seems
perfectly normal - for a six-month-old infant. His memories
and abilities, I believe, are gone, or at least submerged.
Cologne has told me about her family's 'adoption' of him,
and since the only legal existence he has is a police
record, there should be no problems in that regard. Which
means for you, Ranko, no chance of having your ki drained
again."
"Did the combination of our imbalanced ki affect Niichan's
and my ... "
"Apparently so; you both now have the proper balance of male
and female ki within yourselves, only on a more powerful
level than normal," He paused, studying her blue eyes and
energy. "You and Ranma seem to be recovered. Would you like
to have some tea before I send you three home?"
"Three?" she asked. She looked up and noticed his eyes were
resting on her bosom, bursting at the seams of the hospital
scrub shirt she was clad in.
"Oh, pardon me," he blushed down to his hair roots. "You,
Ranma, and Akane."
She met his brown eyes again, and she smiled shyly. "I'd
love to, Tofu-sensei."
* * * * * * * * * *
The Tendo household slept peacefully in the living room.
Nabiki dozed in the armchair, while Kasumi slept across the
couch, her apron wrinkled around her.
Soun barely slept, watching over his daughters and guests.
Nodoka was settled on a mat, the katana at hand. Hibiki-san
slept across the room from her on another mat, his suitcase
under his head, full of his sale wares. Genma slept in the
dojo, afraid to be near his wife for safety reasons
(Allowing their children and future daughter-in-law to be
lost in the typhoon was not a good idea).
The door silently opened, and Soun stood up. He stepped over
bodies and entered the main hallway to find his youngest
daughter sleeping peacefully against her fiance's back as he
climbed the stairs.
"What happened to my daughter?" he whispered.
"She rescued Niichan from those crazy girls," Ranko replied,
patting his head. "Unfortunately, it drained her energy, so
she's just resting up. Tofu-sensei says she needs plenty of
rest."
"That means no pressure to get married," Ranma added,
halfway up the staircase. "Got it, Tendo?"
Ranko took one step toward Soun.
Soun quickly nodded his head in agreement, only because
Ranko was closest to him, and he didn't like the thought of
singing soprano the rest of his days.
"You look exhausted, Tendo-san," she smiled. "Why don't you
get some sleep? Kasumi-chan and I can look after everything."
He nodded and followed Ranma up the stairs, watching him lay
Akane gently on her bed and smooth her hair from her
forehead. Soun smiled; his little girl was taken care of at
last. Which was, in the end, more important than anything
else.
Ranko entered the living room, finding the rest of the
family asleep. It *had* been a long day yesterday. Her eyes
rested on the woman who gave birth to Ranma, and she sighed.
Nabiki slitted her eyes open, seeing the redhead.
"About time you got home," she yawned. "Daddy was worried
sick about Imouto-chan."
Ranko nodded. "Don't blame him. So what happened while we
were gone?"
Nabiki grinned amid another yawn and said, "Orange juice
first, then we'll talk."
* * * * * * * * * *
"You've *got* to be kidding!"
Nabiki and Kasumi gazed at her across the table, seeing and
hearing the uncanny resemblance to Ranma.
"No, we're not. I owe you five-hundred yen."
"Forget it, Kasumi-chan," Ranko stared into the juice in
front of her. "So Ryoga's father is really Niichan's father,
too?"
"Yep," the middle Tendo daughter replied. "It seems that
Hibiki-otosan doesn't have the 'lost' gene, he's just a
travelling salesman. Ryoga's mother is the one with the
'lost' gene."
"But why Nodoka?"
"You're about as thick-headed as Ranma-kun, you know that?"
Nabiki leaned over and tapped her on top of the head. "If
you're any indication, Nodoka was quite an attractive girl
back then. Being just married to Genma and him gone, bet you
anything she was never satisfied and always lonely. When the
younger and more handsome Ichiro Hibiki shows up ... "
Kasumi blushed. "Sounds almost like one of my romance
novels."
"Got it."
Ranko continued to stare into the juice, studying her
reflection.
"It explains a lot, doesn't it?" she mused. "I mean, why
Niichan and I don't look like Genma at all, and why Ryoga
bears a passing resemblence to us ... and why he and Ryoga
have the same eyes."
Kasumi sighed, swirling the milky bath of her tea-and-cream
around with her finger. "What do we do?"
"Be interesting for Genma to find out Nodoka-obachan didn't
give birth to his son."
"Be serious, Biki," the redhead looked up. "You know how
Akane-chan still wants to beat Ryoga into a mass of ground
pork for fooling her when he was P-chan."
The eldest Tendo daughter nodded. "Yes. We can't tell Akane.
If it were known that Ryoga is going to be her future
brother-in-law, she'd still try to hurt him anyway."
"And best not to tell Ranma, either," Ranko added. "He'll go
berserk," She held up her hand and ticked it off. "One:
Ryoga is his brother by blood. Two: Genma isn't his father,
thereby making him not a Saotome. Three: his mother cheated
on his father, that's rather dishonorable. Four: the
agreement of the Saotome and Tendo families to be united and
carry on the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts will be
invalid. Five: do we really want Ryoga as a member of the
family?"
"So we keep this secret?" Kasumi asked.
"Exactly, Oneechan," Ranko confirmed. "Ranma and Akane need
only know what is best for them. It's how I lived inside
Ranma's head. He'd have been overwhelmed by everything that
happened when I was in control of his body."
"So, how much are you going to pay me to keep this under
wraps, Ko-chan?"
"Nabiki!" her older sister scolded her sharply. "I don't
think you should be doing that to them!"
"Yeah!" Ranko added, raising a fist.
"Just kidding," she grinned.
The redhead sighed and leaned back, closing her eyes to
think about the revelation. Damn, Ryoga was her brother. If
he ever got over his depression and hatred, he would be an
honored relation. Up to him, and the little piglet inside
him. And Akane forgiving him, of course.
Nodoka had an affair out of loneliness and need. From this
affair, Ranma was born. Ranko felt closer to her brother
more than ever before; she was born from his loneliness as
he was born from his mother's. He was conceived in love, in
passion, like all children should be born from.
Nodoka did love Ranma, and it broke her heart to let him go.
She gave up her one piece of happiness to honor and
tradition, to appease her family and her husband. Her life
was no longer happy, only having those first few years with
her much-beloved son. Would a mother's love spoil her child?
Or make the child stronger, knowing that he is loved and
cherished and never be starved for affection?
All this she had told Kasumi and Nabiki. Who had told Ranko.
(Maybe I was a bit harsh on the old bitch.) she thought.
(That katana goes, though.)
Ranko wiped her eyes. 'Better late than never,' as the gajin
say. Ranma was loved at last, more than she herself was able
to love him. No more nightmares to make him scream in the
silent night. His warrior lady, Akane, was now at his back,
fighting the demons and darkness away, and he fights hers
away. As it should be.
* * * * * * * * * *
That evening ...
"Do you have everything?" Ranko asked.
"I think so," Ranma confirmed. "Are you sure it'll be safe?"
"Of course it will. Now get going before everyone wakes up."
"Thanks, Ko-chan. Akane-sama really needs this."
"I know. Tofu-sensei and I both agreed it was the only way
for her to rest."
"Good. But you will visit?"
"We'll see, Ranma-kun. Oneechan ... "
"Arigato, Ko-chan. For everything," Ranma whispered as he
hugged his sister.
"That's what sisters are for," Ranko released him and hugged
Akane. "Make sure Niichan doesn't get into any fights."
"I'm not going to let him leave!" Akane said, a lilt in her
voice.
(giggle) "Good girl. Ja ne!"
Ranko watched as the forms of Akane and Ranma leapt over the
rooftops of Nerima in the crystal moonlight, heading toward
the school. The secret attic was the safest, most secret
place the three knew.
Nabiki placed her hand on her shoulder, looking out the
window after her retreating sister.
"Think they'll be all right, Ko-chan?"
Ranko smiled. "I think so, Biki. Love is the best medicine;
heals hearts and souls."
Nabiki nodded and turned to go back to her room.
Ranko continued to gaze out to the softly moonlit night,
watching the two loves of her life fly to their peace and
fulfillment at last. She ignored the ache in her soul, the
one that had been beating on the door of her heart.
"Please look after my Ranma and Akane-chan. Keep them safe
and in happiness," she paused, glancing back up at the moon,
letting the ache slide into her consciousness. "And ...
please ... don't let me be alone."
* * * * * * * * * *
"Did we make a mistake, O-Kuni-Nushi-san?"
The God turned around to face the younger Goddess. She bowed
her head low, dipping her body slightly.
"How did we make a mistake, Benzaiten-san? The love of the
two has birthed the face of Fate to all around them," He
smiled in a good-natured way. "I commend you for altering
the old hentai back to infancy. Very clever of you."
"Fate," she smiled, basking in his compliment. "as you had
said. A debt had to be paid and the Amazons to be appeased."
"What mistake, though?"
She blushed, lowering her eyes to her wringing hands. "The
girl is alone. She has no one close to her. I know she is
powerful, and strong-willed. A handicap for her to find a
... a man to love. I feel she begins to question her own
love."
O-Kuni-Nushi chuckled. "You have underestimated the men of
Nerima, Goddess, as well as her attraction to one of my
own."
"My apologies. I have no place to question your decisions.
But I still question who this man is."
"Trust to the Fates, Benzaiten-san. All will fall into
proper place."
She nodded. "Hai."
* * * * * * * * * *
Chapter Ten
Epilogue
Cologne sat in the still-closed Nekohanten, deep in thought.
Ranma Saotome had been selected by the Tendo girl as her
mate, and Shampoo was defeated by her. And since the defeat
occurred while she fought several opponents at once, it was
clear that Shampoo could never honorably slay Akane. Thus,
according to the Amazon Laws Governing Outside Contact and
Marriage, the marital claim was weakened, and could be
honorably invalidated.
Shampoo seemed only mildly disappointed by this. Her new son
(as the only post-menarche pre-menopausal Amazon female
available, the adoption fell to her) took most of her
attention. She seemed well-suited to motherhood. Cologne had
no doubt that Happosai would grow up properly this time.
(Cologne briefly meditated on the paradox, that Shampoo's
own great-grandfather was now her son.)
Mousse was at first ecstatic that Shampoo was now un-
engaged, but disappointed that she didn't even notice him,
engrossed as she was in the care of Chibi-Happosai. In fact,
it depressed the hell out of him. He cried even more than
the Soun-creature.
"Hiba-chan," Shampoo said, carrying the child on her hip,
"Shampoo been thinking - 'Happosai' not proper name. How
about 'Detergent'?"
"[You can speak our own tongue, child,]" Cologne said in the
Amazon dialect. "[I see no point in keeping the language
policy at this point.]"
"[Thank Artemis,]" Shampoo said. "[My Japanese is terrible.]"
"[Agreed. You sound like a complete bimbo.]"
Shampoo looked annoyed. "[Anyway, about the baby's name -]"
"[It seems that but a single option remains.]" Cologne
interrupted.
(What now, you old mummy?) "[What do you mean, Honored and
Respected Elder?]"
The excessive honorific bordered on insubordination, but
Cologne let it slide for now. "[I have but one option left
to make Ranma yours.]"
"[NOOOOOOOOOO!!!]"
"[Shut up, Mousse!]" Cologne snapped, hurling a bowl. Mousse
yelled in pain as the projectile connected.
Cologne got out a small teakwood box with several ornate
locks on it. With a ring full of several tiny keys, she
carefully unlocked the box. Cautiously, she removed a plain
silver ring.
"[This, child, is the Love-Wish Ring.]" she explained. "[It
grants one wish to the wearer, as long as that wish is
related to love.]"
A metal claw snapped the ring out of Cologne's hand, pulling
it to Mousse. He slipped the ring on and cried out, "[I wish
Shampoo would love me forever!]"
(WHANG!!)
Cologne shook her head at the duck-boy's stupidity (and made
a note to buy a new skillet - this one had a Mousse-profile
in the bottom) as she recovered the ring.
"[As I was saying - this is an ancient *Amazon* artifact,
and as such it is usable only by *women*.]" She took a
moment to kick Mousse in the head before returning to
Shampoo.
"[Put it on, and wish for Saotome.]"
(Damn, how do I get out of this? If I use this, Akane will
hunt me down. She was bad enough when she fought three at
once. If she comes after me - and she's really pissed -
I'll be kitty litter!)
A notion struck her. She slipped on the
ring and said, "[I wish for my One True Love to appear!]"
"YAAAAHHHH!!!" (CRASH!)
Ryoga picked himself up from the wreckage of the table and
dusted himself up. "Where the hells am I now?"
(Wait a second - my 'One True Love' is ... *the Lost
Boy*!?!) Shampoo gazed in an appraising manner as he bent
down to pick up his backpack. (Yowza! I could do worse ...)
Ryoga noticed the Amazons around him. "Hi, Shampoo, Cologne.
Hi, Mousse. How did I get here?"
"AIREN!!" Shampoo cried, glomping onto him.
"NOOOOOOOO!!!" Mousse cried. "You shall *never* marry
Shampoo!!" He cried an incoherent battle-cry and slashed at
Ryoga's head with a weed-whacker.
Ryoga barely managed to duck, pulling Shampoo to the floor.
"What's with you, you idiot? You almost hit Shampoo and the
baby!"
Then he noticed that Shampoo was on the floor, and he was on
top of her. "YEEK!!" he cried, leaping backwards.
Mousse took advantage of Ryoga's disorientation and slashed
again. The combat umbrella came up, blocking the weed-
whacker, and the combat became serious.
Cologne watched as Ryoga and Mousse battled, wrecking parts
of her restaurant. (He's a good martial artist, possibly the
physically strongest male on the planet, and has a proper
male attitude - meek toward women. Shampoo could do worse.)
* * * * * * * * * *
Ukyo struggled against the restraints, growling and snapping.
"Can't you tranquilize her?" the pretty-looking girl asked.
"We did," the attendant said. "You should have seen her
before. The red button summons help, in case she gets
loose," As the attendant left, he said over his shoulder,
"You have five minutes, Miss Kunoichi."
"Arigato," Konatsu Kunoichi said in a demure fashion.
"Ukyo-sama?" he asked quietly. "Can you hear me?"
"Of course I hear you! My ears aren't strapped down!!" she
shouted. "I'm a lunatic, I'm not deaf!"
"You aren't a lunatic, Ukyo-sama," the transvestite said
soothingly. "You're just ... upset. And tired. You need a
bit of rest."
Ukyo started sobbing. "He doesn't love me! I can't win him!
I can't get rid of Akane! I've lost him!"
"Poor dear," Konatsu cooed. "He wasn't right for you anyhow.
All he did was use you for free food and a shoulder to cry
on. He never even asked you what kind of day you had - not
even once," He pulled out a handkerchief and cleaned up the
ravages the tears and tantrums had done.
Ukyo sniffed and sobbed as Konatsu delicately fussed over
her, like a mother hen with a chick. (Ranma *never* treated
me so nicely.) she pondered. (Konatsu doesn't even have to
be here.)
Several minutes later, the orderly looked in and noticed
that the Kuonji woman was alone. Thinking that the cute
Kunoichi girl had already left, he went about his rounds.
Konatsu stepped out of the shadows and continued to pamper
his Ukyo, giving her care and comfort.
* * * * * * * * * *
"Hmph. The Poor Little Rich Girl back?" one of the orderlies
said, noticing the small man in the ninja outfit.
The head duty nurse shook her head. "Nope. He's just getting
her personal effects."
"They found someone else to take the Kuno girl? I thought we
were the only place left."
"It seems that, along with injuring those orderlies when she
broke out, she tried to kill some boy she had been stalking.
She was found in a clinic in Nerima, raving about trying to
kill several people. The police interviewed the other people
there, and found probable cause to lock her up for assault."
The orderly snickered. "Plus, when the police checked her
home, they found enough controlled substances to make every
hophead in Japan happy for a week."
"So where's she going now?" the orderly asked.
"A maximum-security institute for psychiatric review. What
happens after that depends if she's sane enough to stand trial."
Sasuke shook his head at the gossip. Mistress Kodachi wasn't
mad ... just misunderstood.
Still, perhaps the hospital people could make her take her
medicine on a regular basis. She'd be much happier with her
lithium. And valium. And all the other pills.
* * * * * * * * * *
"Are you all right, Akane-sama?"
"Yes, I feel fine, Ranma-sama. Please stop hovering."
Ranma looked somewhat sheepish. "I was just worried. Tofu-
sensei said you needed to rest."
Akane smiled at him. "Just because I can't sleep doesn't
mean I'm not resting. This attic is just - claustrophobic."
"Sorry," he said. "I never noticed."
"It's not too bad," she said. "I guess I'm just being over-
sensetive."
"As usual," he said. Then, "I DIDN'T MEAN IT! I DIDN'T MEAN
IT! I DIDN'T MEAN IT!"
"That's okay, Ranma," she said calmly.
"You're not upset?" he said wonderingly. "You're not going
to cry or hit me?"
"No," she said. "You're right - I do overreact. A lot. I
guess my emotions are run too ragged right now to erupt."
"But you'll get better?"
"I hope so."
Ranma sighed and hugged her. "Good. If my tomboy didn't
mallet me every now and again, I don't know what I'd do."
"And if my baka didn't say something stupid at least once,"
she replied, hugging him back, "I'd probably go nuts."
The pair snuggled into each other's embrace, and soon fell
asleep.
Akane lashed out in her sleep, as she always did, kicking
and punching and delivering blow after blow. Ranma, in turn,
blocked each punch, parrying and riposting, soon working
inside her guard and embracing her.
Ranma and Akane sighed and became still, quiet, and at peace.
----------
All the fiancees are accounted for; Shampoo has Ryoga,
Kodachi has a strait jacket, Ukyo has Konatsu (and a strait
jacket), Akane has Ranma.
Stay tuned for the third story "A Matter of Romantic
Chemistry". Ryoga will court Shampoo (kinda), Tofu and
Kasumi will reach a turning point in their relationship
(sorta), and the Mysterious Fourth Sibling shall wreak a
hideous vengeance (well, after a fashion)!
And Ranko will have a lemon scene! (Probably not, but at
least a bit of lime.)
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