The Rumpelstiltskin Problem

The book opens with an absolutely hilarious (and I mean really, really hilarious) analysis of the Rumpelstiltskin fairy tale, with Vivian Velde point out then numerous incidents of lack of logic and intelligence in the original story. She then proceeds to tell it herself in a variety of ways.

In the first story, Rumpelstiltskin wants to find out what human babies taste like. He devises a place, somewhat long-term, for getting a baby to eat, using the miller's daughter and his spinning-straw-into-gold ability. Things don't go exactly as planned, especially when there's the troll's brother involved who has a personal grudge against Rumpelstiltskin.

The second story has the mill burning down, leaving the miller and his daughter having to find some way to make money. The miller makes up the story about his daughter being able to spin gold from straw in order to bilk people out of some gold coins. The king is ultra-greedy and totally self-centered, and Rumpelstiltskin is a kind-hearted elf, instead of a troll as in the first story. In this case the miller's daughter faces a choice of staying with the king, who wants nothing to do with the daughter's own child, or taking a trip elsewhere with the elf.

The domovoi. A Russian mystical creature, according to the story, who protected the house it lived under. This time the miller gets her daughter into trouble by getting drunk and telling the king his daughter can spin straw into gold. She's the one, though, that suggests giving her first child up. Rumpelstiltskin doesn't really want the child, though, and he does his best, but finally things get too much for even him to put up with.

Story four: The miller loves his daughter and likes to brag about her. Without thinking he makes a comment that she can spin straw into gold, she's so good at spinning. Word gets to the king and the daughter is taken to spin gold for him. Except in this case the king expects her to spin straw into gold for him every single night.

It's up to the father, now, to rescue the daughter in a manner suited to an Indiana Jones movie.

Story five: This story starts with a young female Rumpelestiltskin who is plain and, as she gets older, goes from homely to ugly. The villagers start to think she's a witch. She sees the miller's daughter abducted one day and follows her to the king's castle where she learns what is going on.

Ms. Rumpelstiltskin wants a child of her own to love and thus the deal with the miller's daughter for her first-born. The king and the miller's daughter don't want to give the child up, though, presenting Ms. Rumpelstiltskin with a problem.

Story six: This one is the funniest one of all. King Gregory is a good and just man. The miller brags about his daughter, and before long she shows up at the king's castle. It ends up being her idea to spin straw into gold (which, of course, she can't do) and she turns out to be bossy and pushy. The king outwits her not once, but twice, though. I don't want to say more; this story definitely needs to be read in its entirety (All of the stories are short, also.)

Main Index

Yadult Index