Dance Remixes, 2003

1. Sans Sontrefaçon [J.C.A. Remix]: There is a fundamental difference between the concept of “noise” and the concept of “music.” I think remixes fail to grasp the subtle difference between the two concepts. The idea seems to be to take a small part of an actually song and overburden it with as much electronic noise as possible. It’s rare when I find a remix that actually is anywhere near as good as the original version of the song, much less than better. This song is not one of those times.

2. Instant X [the X Key Mix by One-T]: This is one of the very rare remix songs in which the people doing it try to make the noises actually fit the song, in this case particularly bells ringing. It works quite well in this, making this version of the song almost, but not quite, as good as the original version.

3. Âme-Stram-Gram [Full Intention Sultra Mix]: Sometimes the idea is to make the introduction as absolutely long as possible before you get into any semblance of the original song, I guess in order to keep people guessing what the song is and if you will ever actually get to playing some of it. At 8 minutes, 1 second, this song is something like twenty minutes too long.

4. C'est une Belle Journée [Devil Head Remix]: The title “Devil Head” remix causes one to think of some poor British person being attacked by a vicious, out-of-control toilet in the depths of London. Or maybe it refers to what gets into someone’s head when they come up with a version of the song like this. There’s a primary reason which the cds have the name Mylene Farmer prominently on them rather than the name “Useless Noise.”

5. XXL [JXL Remix]: One of the concepts used by many remix songs is that of drowning out the singer, and this song manages to do that in a number of parts quite well. Don’t get me wrong; this kind of music definitely has its uses. Psychological warfare, for one. Scaring pigeons from buildings, for another. Warning extraterrestrial spacecraft away from Earth. Lots of uses.

6. Je T'Aime Mélancolie [Felix Da Housecat Remix]: The reason this is named Felix Da Housecat remix is because there is one portion that sounds, vaguely, like a cat coughing up hairballs. Then there are the portions that have some actual singing, but it’s overladen by sounds that resemble some mechanical beast that’s got a major breathing problem.

7. Pourvu Qu'elles Soient Douces [Paul Oakenfold Remix]: Sometimes a remix uses a good portion of the original song and just gives it a different musical background. It’s sort of like the “deleted scenes” portions on a DVD. There’s a reason the deleted scenes were deleted. There’s a reason the remix version of the song was not the original version. Nuff said.

8. California [Romain Tranchart & Rawman Remix]: This one has a lot of singing, but it’s sort of speeded up like she was trying to get through the song as quickly as possible, or someone fiddled with the timing controls. It’s actually listenable. Amazing.

9. Libertine [y-Front Remix]: This version is actually sort of cute and not bad at all, really.

10. Optimistique-Moi [Junior Jack Psycho Vocal Mix]: Never put the word “Psycho” in the title of a song. It gives the listener too good an idea of what it is they’re going to be listening to, and this song delivers. At least in that way, anyhow.

11. Désesnchantée [Thunderpuss Club Anthem]: There is one great advantage that this song has over all the other songs on the album. It’s the last one.

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